I'm tired. Well, I decided to start anew with O-chem. Over the weekend, I felt like that I was destroying my life because I wasn't making the choices that I was suppose to. An O-chem chapter a lot longer than it was suppose to. That's why I didn't do so hot on my test. The average for the scantron portion was a 72. My score was 60 percent. I feel horrible now because I really expect myself to do better. I'm guessing that the written portion will bring me down to a 50 percent because I did horrible on it and didn't give myself enough time. I gave myself two hours instead of around three.
I didn't do any homework on Saturday because I got distracted downloading song legally from gamespot.com and then illegally. Afterwards, I watched to four to five episodes of Stargate. I went to bed seven A.M in the morning. I was going to get up at 8:15 to go to church; however, I think I got up, turned it off, and then went to bed because I don't remember hearing it. So, I accidentally skipped church.
Today, I was 20 minutes late to my O-chem class because I wasn't paying attention to the time when I was at BJJ. Dr. Bronson said to prepare for a quiz on Wednesday. I haven't gone through the last chapter!!!! I want to go through that chapter before this chapter so my spiral-notebook will be in order. I didn't have anytime to work on it today. I went to BJJ, took a two hour nap because I was depressed about O-chem, went to FHE where I had prime rib, put gas in my car, and did a little laundry to wash my stinky gi. I was busy today. I'm just freaking out about O-chem. However, I find that my emotions are the worst at night and when I'm tired. In the morning or after naps, I feel better.
I haven't told my Dad about this yet. I'm suppose to call him tonight. However, I think I'm just going to bed because I don't want to get even more upset. I'm just hoping that my involvement with BJJ is the right thing to do. Heavenly Father told us to take care of our bodies. I do that by going to BJJ. Plus, it's a lot of fun. However, it's taking my part or my whole morning. I need to see how am I doing whole week to see if I'm catching up. I don't think I will work on O-chem tomorrow because I need to do my infectious disease homework.
It seems like that life gets more complicated and harder when one gets older. I just read the first few months of this blog. I read a few entries that I wrote four years ago. Many things that happened since then. I'm happy that I started this blog because it allows me to write about things so I won't forget them. I have forgotten many things that happened to me and what I learned in my first dojo. I was very surprised that I learned how to arm bar. I wonder if it was correct. I loved that dojo because I'd always get highs from working out so hard. Sometimes, I would get lost when reading my past entries. I'm sorry whoever reads my blog if they get lost of what I'm talking about.
Everything was so simple when I was that young. I've matured and changed a lot especially in the past year. I've learned that I need to be more responsible and plan things better. Yesterday, I spent the whole day on the internet mostly watching Muppet videos. I should have gotten off to do my O-chem homework. I should have gotten to bed early so I can do O-chem all day today. However, I worked on it for four hours. I finally finished that chapter I've been trying to finish all week. Now, I'm really behind because I still have to work on a whole chapter that I was just tested on. I did pretty well I guess on the test for not going through a whole chapter of problems. I'm still disappointed in the 60 percent on the multiple choice part. It's still really disappointing because I got an 88 percent on the that part for the first test. I have to put everything on hold because I need to catch up. I shouldn't have read my old entries. I still need to clean the bathroom because cleaning checks are tomorrow.
I did really poorly on the written portion on the test because I didn't give myself enough time. I only gave myself two hours. Probably, I needed at least two and a half hours. I'm guessing that my grade will be a fifty percent. I just want to keep on doing BJJ though and put everything else on hold, except for church. This is so depressing. This is why everything is so hard. BYU is really hard.
Guess what????? Brother Adams is back in Spokane. I wish I could visit him in person. :( However, I'll call him on Monday to say hi. He's like a second father to me. I love him so much.
I want to write about the things that Dave told me this morning in class. However, I can't write that long because I really need to study O-chem. I was suppose to get done with a chapter last night. However, these problems are taking way longer that I have expected them to. I just don't want to copy all the answers from the manual because that wouldn't be studying. I need to know how to do them all so I can do well on the test. It's just last night, I was really freaking out that I wouldn't finish all the problems by the test which is tomorrow night. I still want to go to a two hour review too. However, I that depends on how many problems that I get done. Doing problems is the most important thing I can do to prepare for this test.
I want to talk about the techniques and concepts that I learned in class today. Since Paul Tom hurt his hamstring on Tuesday night, Dave taught the class. He has been doing BJJ for five years now and was unsure about my name today. He called me the right name though. I love working with him because he very knowledgeable and doesn't mind to teach one on one. He said whenever I work with people who has more experience than me to ask them what they did and how to defend from that so that they may teach me.
I learned that I need to keep people busy when they are in my guard. I pull them down to my level, come up to their level by sitting up, or attack. There's a modified Ezekiel that I practiced today that I have learned in Roberto's dojo. I just learned it from mount. Today, I learned that one can do it from guard either on the back or sitting in his lap. It when I put one arm around the neck, grab my gi sleeve with the same arm, then drive my fist into their neck right at the artery. I used that move twice today.
Then, learned a move which Pinky did all the time with me. We are suppose to open the guard whenever a person stands so that he won't slam you on your back. I thought that one can't do that in BJJ. That's what I learned in the BYU club. I just though of something. I might had gotten injured in Roberto's dojo because I was slammed a little and my lungs had air at that time too. If one has air in the lungs while being crushed, the ribs don't have anywhere to go and crack. Anyways, this move really works when one has one hand in the lapel and the other grabbing the sleeve cable grip style on the same side. When I break my guard, I have to automatically put my feet on his hips so there will be tension. Then, lift him up into the air and follow him into mount with tension of your arms. Dave said to grab with your feet; however, I don't see that's possible. He said that this move called the balloon.
A really easy way to pass a guy's open guard, when they have just opened it is, is to push their knees together and really lean onto them. Grab both gi pants. Then, yank the knees off very suddenly and land on the guy. They won't really expect it.
Dave said I get too emotional when grappling. He said that I still angry at the people who have teased me when I was a kid. So, I try to get revenge on them when grappling. Then, he said I was mad at my dad too. I'm totally not mad at Dad. I think that I'm over what happened to me as a kid. I can see other people getting mad at kids and never forgive them as adults. Then, they try to prove themselves when grappling. I'm pretty sure that I've forgiven my uncle too. I don't hold grudges too. I have forgiven everyone who has trespassed me. I don't believe that I have not forgiven anyone at a subconscious level either. I don't really believe that there's a subconscious anyways. Probably, my psychology is different from most because of my Autism.
I think I get too emotional because I really care how well I do in this sport. I don't like losing all the time and get frustrated. Dave said to throw my emotions out the window when rolling because they are hurting my technique. Maybe, he's saying that when I get emotional I used muscle instead of technique. That totally makes sense because I'd always throw not as far in the ring. Maybe, I'd get too emotional there and tense. Me wanting to take revenge doesn't make sense in terms of the ring. I don't think that my love for BJJ is hurting me either. I don't think that one should throw that out the window too.
I think it's just Satan minions trying to get to me because I can listen to them like I do with the Spirit. I just need to remember that more experienced people and bigger guys will always pretty much win me because they have 40 percent more upper body strength than me. The more I progress, the more I will win with beginners. I'm able to control them more and more.
I say screw the idea I get emotional because of kids and teenagers. That way two lives and over five years ago. Screw the idea that I'm trying to take revenge on anyone who has hurt me. The people who has hurt me the most are Sensei Chinen, Uncle Rich, and Roberto. Probably, they are the one's who I'd like to take revenge. However, I'm over all of them including the kids and teenagers at school. However, I'm more wary of trusting people. I just don't want to be taken advantage of by anyone. I'll just see where my emotions are exactly when grappling. Plus, I don't know much technique when grappling anyways. Most of it is instinct. I'll work on not becoming frustrated and going all out. When grappling with Cameron, I treated him as a predator because Dave said to treat all men like that. So, I really went all out. It was wonderful too because I really got a good workout. However, I cried afterwards because I was frustrated. So, I just need to see where are my emotions. Plus, Dave maybe misreading me too when I spar. Like today, he said that I had emotion when rolling with the new guy. However, I was calm and happy when grappling with him. I'm rougher with guys who have more experience like with Dave. Maybe, he's seeing that as aggression. I give up on who's seeing what. All I know is what I feel inside. Well, I need to do O-chem. I've been writing for three hours.
I think that Dave is way off about me getting frustrated or getting too emotional. Sparring should be playing and having fun. Well, I just read of another mindset that I need to really keep in mind. I need to remember that experience is a big factor and whether my training partner is a guy. Most of the girls are really easy to beat. I never train with them. I always train with guys because they are just as big as me and stronger. This means I have to work harder to pull off techniques. Again most of my defense is instinctual, so most of it isn't really composed of techniques. However, all my attacks are techniques because I don't naturally know how to choke or submit a person. I've been noticing that my defense is working and that I'm attacking people who has much less experience than me. However, I still have trouble controlling strong beginners. I just need to keep my negative emotions in check when I spar. Here are two articles that I really liked about changing my mindset: The 200 Principle and Tools in Your Box. I just need to remember that anyone who submits me is doing a favor. It gives me an opportunity to work my defense especially with my arms. I just don't to come to a point where my defense isn't improving.
Class was much better today than yesterday. There were two different types of chokes that I learned. One was from knee on mount. I put my far hand with four fingers inside the lapel and the other hand on the other side of the neck with only the thumb inside. Then, I twist around in north south position making sure that my elbows and my chest is on him. Then, I drive forward to finish off the choke. That was pretty easy. The next one is from north south position, but on bottom. I put my hands like the way I had in the previous choke. Four fingers in one hand and one thumb in the other hand. Then, we follow the thumb that's on the outside, twist around, and check the leg so the guy won't twist around you from top. A variation for the move is to put either leg on the neck while still having the choke. I liked to check the leg and put the other leg on the neck. It seemed like that I can choke the guy faster and didn't use as much strength. The last move I did was from knee on stomach. I get to that position by grabbing the lapel just under the guy's neck and then, the obi. Then, I lean forward and side my knee on the inside of my arm, so my arm is on the outside of my thigh. I can cross choke from here. When the guy pushes on my knee, I can grab under his bicep to pull him onto his side. Ack. I give up explain this move. I was having a horrible time learning it. Plus, I accidentally put my hand on Sid's groin. That was embarrassing. I've never done that before. It felt pretty squishy. Ha, ha. This video is a similar version of the move that I gave up explaining.
Then, I grappled with Sid. I did will with him. He submitted me once with a Darce choke. When we were grappling, professor wanted us to switch partners. So, I went up to Dave and grappled with him. Paul Tom noticed that I feel really comfortable rolling with him. He's lots of fun and softer which is good. He's not that aggressive with his strength. I think that he's also weaker than the young guys that I have grappled with since he's older. Paul Tom helped me when grappling with him by telling me what to do. That was pretty cool. One way to help me support my base while trying to break guard is put one of my legs in a forty five angle with my foot on the ground instead of having both knees on the ground. Somehow, Dave was throwing off my balance when I was trying to break his guard by putting my get against his butt and pushing back. One way to get someone from mount is when he i sitting up right, your feet on his armpits, and go out the back door. I think that's correct.
Afterwards, Dave said that I want to control him energetically instead of just using technique. I still don't know what he meant by that. Then, he said I sort of freak out when I'm mounted. I don't know. I just don't want to be submitted. Well, I told Paul Tom that he talks to much because he wanted to know what I didn't like about him. He said it's alright that I think that way. I agree with him that his students are very technical. He agrees that his students goof around a little to much. He said that he likes to talk to that they won't get too serious and hurt themselves or each other. He said that he wants to enrich his students by talking about things other than BJJ. He knows a lot about what's going on in his students lives and their issues. He certainly knows about my issues. He said that I love to take out my beating stick and beat myself with it. I know that I'm too hard on myself in certain aspects in my life. I think that in others I'm not hard enough, like doing homework and not watching video game reviews. He said that he wants his school to be as safe place where his students can be themselves. He said that Bishops aren't really prepared to take on the issues of the ward members. However, I think that they are still good to talk to because they have the power of discernment.
One another thing, he said that he has to hop when rolling over at night because he's overweight. He was making fun of himself in class. Then, he told us one time how he woke up to have a hand near his face. He thought it was some guys because it was obviously was one and when he touched it, he didn't feel anything. It turned out that he was sleeping on his arm and it fell asleep. I though that was really, really funny.
This is going to be quick because I need to study O-chem. I have a test on Friday. I just want to write a little about BJJ and what I learned today. There is this 19 year old guy who goes the classes during the morning. He's really nice towards me. However, the way he does things annoy me a little. He doesn't that much of a fashionable workout pants. He doesn't own a gi. He wears socks when training because he says that he wants to learn how to grip better with his feet. That doesn't make sense because one would learn how to grip without socks on. I know in Goju-Ryu, we practiced proper stance and tried to grip the floor with our toes. If I wore socks when I did my kata, that would make gliding across the floor a lot easier. I'm surprised that he doesn't listen to our Paul Tom, our professor because he doesn't like that idea either.
I don't think that BJJ comes very natural to him. He's suppose to be strong and a guy. I'm surprised that he doesn't use his strength that much. Maybe, he does at the last minute. However, he just spazzes out and thrashes when I'm close to submitting him. He uses his strength at the wrong spots. I don't think that he has ever mounted me before. He says that he's so used to defending and that's it. He's not used to attacking anybody. Our first sparring match, I beat him with a wrist lock. I tried to armbar him; however, I couldn't make it work. Most of the time, armbars don't work for me. I'm hardly on mount anyways.
So, I let him attack while I defended pretty much minimally. He pulled me into his guard. The first thing he wanted to do is cross choke me. He almost pulled it off; however, I kneaded the bread on him which made him tap out. So, I can only do that on beginners. I did that to Brent one time. He countered by scooting away from me which made the choke even tighter. Every time he attacked me from our knees, he put me into his guard and tried to cross choke me. Of course that didn't work because I have a good defense for it. However, it does make me give up my base though. I pretty much let my lapel go around part of my head instead of my neck. Dave said that's bad because people can cross choke the jaw instead of the neck. He tried to do a wrist lock from guard which didn't work. He tried to do two armbars which were really lose and sloppy.
I'm just surprise that he can't really do anything to me. Pretty much all beginner guys give me a hard time. I can't submit them too often because of their strength. However, I'm getting better because I'm spending more and more time controlling them. I just need to get many of my submissions down. I'm like that guy, I'm so crappy at attacking because I'm always defending.
So, my neck hurts because we practiced the can opener. I stand up in someone's guard, pull at their neck to make them open up, sit on their thighs while squeezing my knees, then throw one leg across their body, and end up chest to chest. He was keeping have a lot of difficulty learning that move. He kept on not having his weight on me. It ended up that he wasn't squeezing his knees. I can defend the can opener is by making a cable grip with my hands and putting my forearm on my forehead. The guy lifted me up while I did that.
Professor said that I can keep my base in someone's guard by putting my hands on their chest instead of under their rib cage. Dave called it the bread basket. Last night, I counted how many months I've been doing BJJ. I was really surprised that I'm at the end of my six month. I should be doing a lot better than this. However, I'm doing OK because only guys that have a lot more experience than me can tap me out just like that. Except with Miller because he's about 300 hundred pounds. Last Saturday, he did a bicep crusher which I didn't see. I thought he was going to do an armbar from side control.
I was disappointed with today because I didn't really get to spar. I was submitted the guy. However, I really wanted my heart to pump and sweat. Professor, only taught us for an hour. He didn't start on time because he was talking to a lady that wanted to use his dojo. Three of his kids where there. I noticed that a guy purple belt liked to scrunch of his face periodically when professor had him show the move against another white belt. Maybe, that's why Dan said not to show anything on your face while sparring. I didn't know if anything was bothering him or not or if it was just a habit. I noticed a girl in my ward named Mo Lee likes to scrunch up part of her face periodically, probably just out of habit. There another girl named Sarah that her smile is lopsided. I met a girl in Bellingham Washington that it seemed like half of her face was paralyzed because her smile was really lopsided.
Again, I haven't written in awhile in this blog. I've been writing in my scripture blog two times a week because that's part of my assignment for my Book of Mormon class. I really like that class because it forces me to read whole chapters of BOM. Then, I have to read the institute manual and write in my blog about what I've read. I'd much rather do that than to search for random questions in all of the chapters. I had to do that for my last Book of Mormon class which I took a year ago.
This semester, I've been going to Paul Tom's school twice a week. (This sucks because I want to be careful of what I say about this school because of my last experience with Roberto's school. I just don't want to write anything that will offend anyone in Paul Tom's school.) I haven't wrote anything about his school or going to the BYU BJJ club because there wasn't anything to write about. I think that's a good thing because I cannot afford being obsessed about it like my last dojo. School and life is way to busy for me. I have a hard enough time as it is just trying to balance BJJ with school. Me getting obsessed about family history is the main reason that I fell behind in O-chem this week.
I've already taken way too long to write this post. I looked through some of the pictures on Paul Tom's site wondering if I should put any of them on this blog. I downloaded a few on my computer though. Then, I listened to a podcast which featured a woman purple belt who does BJJ. All throughout my training, I've been getting frustrated at that fact that I'm weaker than guys. They can do things to me which I know I can't do to them. They've been constantly been in side control or mount and use the kimroa or Americanna on me. It's been happening over and over for me. I'm getting frustrated because my arms are my weakest parts of my body.
I know that my legs are the strongest parts of my body. When I look at my thighs, I think that they are huge. I definitely have a typical woman's body. I'm definitely not a stick or that thin compared to 90 percent of the girls which I see running around on campus. Sometimes, I see girls who are taller than me. When taking my stats 221 class during the summer, I learned that I'm in the 95 percentile for height. However, I'm guessing that I'm in the 99 percentile for height and weight because I haven't met any girl who weighs more than me and has the same height. I've noticed that guys may be taller, however; I weigh just as much as them.
This week, I've had the opportunity of working with Dave who's pretty much as old as my Dad. He has long gray hair which he keeps in a hat. He keep that secure by wearing ear protectors. I just wear three buns. That's somewhat a pain because it takes around ten minutes for me to do my hair. He's also a doctor in psychology. I can tell too because some of the things that he wanted me say while training.
He noticed that I wasn't really resisting that much when he was in my guard. He said that I'm being to submissive. I need to look at every guy as a predator. I haven't been doing that that's for sure. I haven't been using much of my muscle when grappling. I hardly get winded at all. I've been really relaxed when rolling. However, when Dave said I should look at guys as predators, that means I have to go 110 percent all the time. That means I will use my muscle pretty much with everything. So, I grappled with Cameron who's smaller and a white belt. I put everything into that match. I haven't worked that hard in a match for a long time now. Actually, I think I did pretty good because his technique was better than mine.
Throughout that match, I was getting frustrated because he was using his muscle. Dave saw that too. So, he was in side control, I shrieked and tried to push him off of me. Normally, I don't scream that high. Of course, Paul Tom said for me not do that. I saw Dave's face though. He was pretty surprised. The match finally ended when Cameron did a choke where I didn't really know how to counter that well. I was defending his attempts at a kimora very well though.
After that match, I went into Paul Tom's office where Paul Tom and Dave was talking. Paul Tom knew that I wanted to cry because I gave it my all and still was submitted. He said that it's OK to cry. So, I did. I had tears that ran down my cheeks, but didn't interfere with talking with them. Dave said it was good that I was doing this because I was releasing my emotions. He said that many men just keep them bottled up and then, just get angrier. They said that I found a good dojo where I can do this because I alluded that crying is socially unacceptable. Dave said that releasing is actually a good thing. Through out the conversation, Dave wanted me to say that the guys are unfair to me. I said that semi believing that. It's not their fault I'm weaker than them. However, Paul Tom said that not many men will let me win without giving me their all including their strength. That makes sense. It just stinks because I would like to win some too.
Paul Tom said that my scream frightened him for a second because he feared that I got hurt. However at the end of it, he figured that it was a frustrated, I'm using no technique scream. Paul Tom said that I can use my muscle when doing techniques. That a different between using muscle and not using it.
Then, Paul Tom and I discussed why I get frustrated like this. I think it's my natural reaction when I consider myself not doing well in something. I really got frustrated at myself when I threw disk. At a meet in Anaconda, I remember running away towards the school playground and crying because I was so frustrated at myself. Paul Tom said that getting frustrated is the same thing as getting angry. Now I think about it, I think getting really frustrated at myself is the same thing as getting angry at myself because I'm not preforming to the level which I expect out of myself.
Hi. I know haven't written for awhile. I want to change that. Probably, people stopped reading my blog because I stopped writing in it. I need to be more persistent with this thing. I need to be more persistent with everything in my life. I realized that today that when I lived at home, I was a follower. Everyone told me what to do and for the most part, I'd do it. It was a much simpler life. It was a life where I didn't have to plan anything and had less responsibilities. Now, I need to discipline myself and make sure act responsible.
On my vacation to California, I learned had an incite about journal writing. This public blog isn't a journal; however, it will still apply. When talking to my Nana and Pop-Pop, I learned that my Pop-Pop kept a long of which he and Nana has done since 1993. I was excited to get my hand on those logs and read them thinking that they were journals. However, they were just logs. It didn't contain his thoughts and feelings. I thought that was kind of sad. A journal is more worthwhile than a log.
This blog is primarily for me and my future children. I don't write it for anyone else. I don't have time reading other people's blogs so they can read mine to comment on them. I like said, I have responsibilities and duties to fulfill. My main goal for this semester is to work on my homework before I play around on the internet. Last night, I didn't do that. Instead, I watched comedy sketches of Bill Cosby. Denists and his story about being in boot camp are really, really funny. I've never laughed so hard because of a comedy sketch. I really like them because he switched off one character to another very well. Plus, their voices and facial expressions are really amazing. I became interested in watching these because during finals week, Rachel played "To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With" when we played Nertz. I love good stories. Watch the first few minutes of the last video.
I had a busy day today. I finally finished writing a paper I had to do for MMBio and turned it in today. I know this is going to post this as Friday; however, I'm still considering this as Thursday. Last night, I stayed up all night working on my paper and looking at all kinds of Halloween masks, costumes, and animatronics. Of course, we're done with Halloween this year. However, I though it was really interesting to watch all kinds of videos and surf the professional sites. At the end of September, I really searched the web for videos that talked about haunted houses. I really wanted to go this year to a good one, but I didn't find anyone who wanted to go with me. So, I went to a free one that was right on campus. It was hosted my an engineering club and was in the Clide building. That's pretty much the first building that I walk by everyday to get to my classes. So, it wasn't that much of a walk.
I went inside the Clide building trying to figure out where the haunted lab was. So, I walked past a door that was propped open. I saw a sign for the haunted lab that was pointing outside. However, I thought that door was the entrance because I thought it looked creepy. The only light that was on in the room was an open laptop that was on a lab table. When I went in, I saw a big section of a dark room. Beyond that section, I heard Halloween music and lights. So, I plugged my ears because I was creeped. I always do that when I'm scared or when I'm walking past a fence that has a dog barking at me. I didn't want any thing to jump, scream at me, and make me jump. When I arrived in the next room, I heard someone say "Get ready, they are coming." I yelled back that it's only one person. The guy yelled that because I came when it just started. In that room, I saw lots of blue tarp draped over. I saw another laptop providing more light on the floor. I tried to find a way through any of the tarp. However, I just found dead ends. So, retraced my steps, though the door, and went outside. Then, I found a line waiting for the haunted lab.
They were playing Halloween music and had fake gravestones to get everyone in the mood while we waited. It was suppose to look like a cemetery because the gravestones was surrounded by a fence. I waited ten to fifteen minutes. In my group, there was a very young couple and a dad and his two young boys. The boys were really nervous about being the leaders. I knew it wasn't going to be scary because it was a free haunted house put on by a club. I just wanted to get in the spirit in Halloween and be entertained. I had low expectations. When the gal who collected donations had said that they were still looking for five volunteers, they lowered even further.
Finally, it was our turn. For some reason the club members had the guests exit the main entrance same way that they entered. It makes more sense to have them exit another part of the building, to add to the atmosphere for the guests who are waiting. When we came in, we were greeted by our guide. As we were waiting, I saw a freaky clown staring at me through slit between two tarps. I pointed the clown out the to the couple. Then, the clown stuck his head out and said something. Then, I realized he was wearing a mask. He looked cooler in his room because of the black light.
Our greeter said to have low expectations and expect the unexpected. So, I lead the way as we went downstairs. I waited at the bottom because that's what our guide told us to do. I really liked the decorations and lighting in the stairwell. I though we were going to go through a door at the bottom. However, our guide said that was a dead end. I thought that was clever and cheap. We came back up and put some 3-D glasses on. The boys and his dad were leading the way now. This is where the clown was. The 3-D part was really short. Then, we came to a evil scientist where he wanted to raise Frankenstein. The scientist talked with a fake accent. So, he had the guy from the couple put a vice on Frankenstein's head. I was really expecting to sit up, yell at us, and make me jump. However, he got up and attacked the scientist. That just made me laugh.
The next room was a house with a TV and a mirror. The TV was flickering and noticed that it was on a DVD menu screen. Our guide told us a story about a girl. Then, we saw her peering though the window. Afterwards, I think I lead the way. We came in a room where there was a strobe light. A person came out of nowhere and startled me. I thought the strobe light effect was cool. Then, I ran into a net because I couldn't see it. By this time, I was alone. Then, I past this guy sitting in a chair very still. He didn't do anything when he saw me. I went into the next room. It took awhile for them to have a guy pretend that he cut another guy's head off with a guillotine. I waited between the rooms because I wanted to be with the group. When I finally saw them, I noticed that they were taking forever because the two boys were leading the way. So, I just went ahead. There was a guy lying there and tried to scare me by moving. Then, that was the end of it. When I walked out, a girl asked me if it was scary. I said no and walked home.
Probably, I'm forgetting some details of the haunted labs, but that's alright. So, this haunted lab exceeded my expectations. It was a much better haunted house than my very first one I went to with Andrey two years ago. I thought that haunted house was a rip off because I think we payed ten dollars for each of us. However, Andrey payed for the both of us because we were dating at the time. I think the haunted house was for a charity for some kind. I wanted to go to that one because it was right next to the old institute building in Spokane.
So, I wanted to watched some good videos on the web that has really good haunted house scares. There's only a few videos that I've found that are from haunted houses. Most of the hidden cameras is when kids trick or treat, which means that most are not entertaining. From haunted house videos, I've noticed that groups huddle pretty close together. I think that's kind of funny because everything is fake in a haunted house. Why be scared?? I picked the best haunted house videos on the net. This guy is so good!! It's pretty funny.
Hi. Sorry that I haven't been writing as much. I've been so busy with school. I need to get more busy because I didn't do too well on my O-chem test. That means I can't doddle for four and a half to five hours on the internet. I mostly checked my email and watched videos about video games. I really need to complete a paper that was due on Tuesday, which was today. I didn't get it done because I waited too long. I'm thankful that Dr. Lin was willing to give me two extra days. I was completely surprised because last time I turned in something late, my professor docked me points. I miss SCC. Everything was easier. My life was simpler because I was so isolated. I just went to school, did homework, watch TV on the computer, went to church, and did karate. However, I really did wish that I had some close friends like I did in high school. Now, I have a completely opposite life. I don't like doing my homework, school is so much harder, and I have a social life. I love my roommates because they've become good friends. Sarah has become my best friend in a sense because she's lived with me the longest. However, we don't have anything in common except we like to go to the movies. I think that's the story of my life because I don't have that much in common with anyone except Andrey.
So, I meant to be productive today. I wanted to do laundry, do some grocery shopping, and dump the extra door and fender to the recycling place today. I need to by some black shorts by Friday too. For Halloween, Sarah, Katrina, Mary Lou, and I are going to be The Incredibles. I need to buy the shorts the the costume. We're going to have a member from the ward take pictures of us. Then on Friday night, we are going to the ward Halloween Dance.
Like I said, I wanted to get things done today, so I can do homework the rest of the week. Like always, I got distracted. This time, I was distracted by looking for and downloading songs from mininova.com and ffshrine.org. Yesterday, I reached the end of my library for the second time. That told me that I needed go get some new songs because I wasn't going to find anything new in my library. The first time I went through my library, I was shuffling through every song. I did this because I wanted to be kinder the songs that I was listening to. That means I would get bored less often. However, I didn't care about that anymore the second time through and listened the album by artist option.
I deleted some songs, but not as many as the first time. At first, I wanted to be kinder because I'm more tolerable to music that annoys or bores me on some days. However, I just realized that it's easier just to go through the album and delete any songs that bug me. I was down to 3,300 songs. I've realized that I have enough songs to keep me entertained for the most part. Now, I want songs that entertain me. I especially want to find those songs that I repeat over and over again. I love those types of songs. However, after repeating a song for so much, I need a long break before I hear most of them again because they start to bore or annoy me.
Pretty much all music that people listens to really annoy me. Andrey, my former boyfriend, was the only person I knew that had tastes similar to mine. Actually, he introduced me to trance and techno, mainly ATB and Aura. Now, I have tons of that type of music because of him. I just don't like listening to pretty much all the music one hears on the radio. It annoys the crap out of me.
Stupid internet. I wanted to do more studying for my test tomorrow. I really hoping and praying that I'll do well on it tomorrow. I'm planning on studying a lot more tomorrow before it. I just hope that I'll get through enough where I'll feel comfortable about it. I haven't even gone through all the problems in the back of the chapter for any of three chapters. However, I've gone though most of the problems in the chapters though. I was really hoping that I could gotten though a chapter. I just want an average or above average grade. I don't think I'll bomb it. Yesterday, I studied the wrong chapter. So, I didn't do the take home quiz because I didn't know how to do it. I'm banking that I'll do well on the test. It didn't help that I went to FHE and got distracted on the internet when I got back home. Well, I think that I'll keep up with my reading for now on for O-chem because I wanted to go through all the problems in the chapters. Last time, I didn't go through a chapter and that hurt me on the test because I forgot some things. However, I did go through all the other chapter's problems. Wish me luck. I'll need it. I hate getting nervous about tests because I should be able to handle them since I'm going part time. It's just really hard to make myself to do homework.
Hey, Guess What???? I wanted to search more about Paul Tom today. I didn't come up with that much. However, I did find Vanessa's blog. She wrote about the first and only BJJ tournament that I've competed in so far. I only fought against her and Taz. I thought that I wrote about the tournament in my blog. However, I couldn't find anything. Probably, because nothing really happened.
Vanessa is around 30 years old and weighs around 200 pounds. I put up a good fight. She took me down pretty quickly. For some reason, she only was working on my arms when on mount. I don't remember her trying to choke me from mount which is weird. Roberto said that I was doing all the right things by not exposing my arms. I think that he expected her to win faster because she had a year of experience. It's pretty cool that she even has a two photos so us sparring. I like the photo where she's armbarring me. It looks like it's locked, however, it's not. The ref should have let me tap instead of stopping it because I escaped a few seconds later. She would have won anyways because she was the one who was on top and had the advantage.
I waited a long while until I fought Taz. He beat me pretty quickly. I got a bloody nose right after sparring with him. When the tournament was done, I wanted to spar with Vanessa again. However, it was stopped short because my nose started bleeding again. I remember trying to sit up when sparring, but laid back down because of my nose. She felt really bad afterwards. I told her that I've always gotten bloody noses and it wasn't her fault. She told me that members were from my dojo where yelling so loud that when we sparred that she couldn't hear her's helping her. I remember Nick or Zack telling me to use the wall when sparring with her. I thought it was weird because we never use the walls. However, that wall was padded.
I've decided not to go to the tournament because forty dollars is too steep just to compete and lose. I went to this special party that the BYU BJJ club today. It wasn't as fun as Wednesday night. I think it's because I got to work with Brian that night. I love working with him because he likes to joke around a lot. He's lots of fun to work with and has tons of knowledge because he's a purple belt. However, he doesn't wear it. He's really good. I need to ask him if I'm still using too much muscle because Eric said I was tonight. Colin said that I need to be nicer when sparring too. Like trying not to shove my forearm in Logan throat so he can let go of me from his guard. That didn't work anyways. I don't know. I learned that I can use any pain compliance technique that I want. That's how I learned to be more aggressive and not afraid that I'm going to cause someone pain. I remember that I gave older Nick a huge scratch on his chest on accident. It was all good though.
Logan is a beginner at the club, so he won the first match with ankle lock. Then, we went had a second match that lasted forever. We are evenly matched for the most part. However, he had the advantage because he was on top of me for most of the match. He loves closed guard which I'm horrible at getting out of. So, I tried stacking, choking, and wearing him out so he can let go of me. However, that didn't work. It was weird going that slow so long. If we any of us slowed down and stalled in Roberto's dojo, we count down until someone got a better position. If nobody did, he stop us and say it was a tie. Colin says that the club likes to have slow matches like that. I think it's just weird.
I don't know who's right about BJJ any more because Roberto thought that not many of the guys knew much basics. They know finishing moves, but they know how to properly defend. They don't know all the things in the middle. All I want is a black belt in BJJ who can tell me what's good and not good. It's like Roberto thinks that a gym like school called Throwdown sucks. He says the guys that train there has awful technique. However, Coach Pease says that the instruction there is top notch. He says it's not for everyone because the class sizes are big. I don't know who's right anymore. I don't have much knowledge of BJJ like I do with Goju-Ryu. All I know is a principle from what I learned when throwing the discus. It all technique and speed while throwing it. One cannot use muscle because that tenses the body. A tense muscle doesn't move as fast as a muscle that not tense. Plus, it's better to be more flexible so the muscle has more elasticity like a rubber band.
Right now, I'm totally excited. Why?? Because I just found out that a big grappling tournament is coming up. I knew about this tournament, but didn't know how big it's going to be. I've only been in one tournament so far. It cost me twenty dollars. It was alright. I fought against a woman who had a year of experience. I did alright because I only had a few months of experience. She mounted me pretty quickly. It took her forever to armbar me. Actually, it wasn't even a good armbar because I got out of it. However, the person that was reffing stopped us and said that she won.
The last tournament that was held at Throwdown I skipped because Roberto wasn't taking anybody to it. Afterwards, I found out that I could have taken first in the Woman's division because I have more experience than all the girls which placed. I know that because all the girls were from the BYU club. I could have gotten a cool sword!! After my first tournament, I wanted to get much better because I didn't want to waste my money. So, I trusted Roberto and didn't go.
I watched a promotional video for the up coming tournament. When watching it for the second time, I realized that Roberto was in it. Then, I noticed that Xzavior's mom was right next to him. Then, I realized that the two guys that are pictured before the movie starts are the guys that I met during my training in Roberto's dojo. I think that they trained in the Utah Valley University's (UVU) BJJ club.
I started thinking about the possibility of going to another tournament and competing. Then, I thought about how Roberto and the guys helped and cheered me on when I competed. Whenever anyone competes, Roberto becomes the corner and tells that person what to do. He said that eventually we'll learn a code where our opponents wouldn't know what he's telling us. When anyone starts telling what to do when I'm sparring, I get much better because I have an objective in my head and have the will power to pull through.
If I compete, this tournament will cost me forty dollars. That's a little spendy for a tournament. That's with it's discounted too. The normal cost would be sixty dollars. So, I don't know. If I do this, I need to start training right away to get ready for it. My side and chest feels pretty much healed. However, I haven't tested that by sparring yet. I think I was overtraining. I know that Roberto thinks doesn't one can overtrain by doing the type of exercise that we did. However, I knew that wasn't true.
We tried to push ourselves to the max each day. So, I don't think that we allowed ourselves to recover. I know that the more that one trains, one can increase the intensity, frequency, and longevity of the training. However, I think that we trained a too hard a little to much. I'm glad that I got out when I did to let myself to heal. I know that if I kept on going, I would have healed slower because I would have went to every practice. Plus, I would have probably started doing things before I was ready for them.
HMMM. Whenever I write in this blog, I start thinking about BJJ and how much I miss it. I know, I know. You can say that I can going to a new dojo any time now. I wanted to go to BJJ this morning; however, I went to bed too late which was around two thirty AM because I watched "The Island" with Sarah. I really liked that movie because it was a science fiction action movie which what I wanted to watch. When I we watch movies together, it's usually some drama chick flick. It's alright; however, I do miss seeing action packed movies. "The Island" had a pretty good plot. It's about some a clone that starts questioning the utopia he's living in. So, he escapes it with his girl friend. A company was using the clones for people's insurance policy's like if they anything happened. The owner hired a hitman to kill the clones. However, he kills the exact copy of the clone instead. The girl friend gets captured on purpose.
The company killed all of the clones which were growing. They wanted to kill the rest of the clones because of they thought that curiosity was a bad trait. However, the main character and his girl friend killed the main guy and freed the clones with the help of the hitman. There wasn't enough dialogue which made me really care for the clones at the end of the movie. It was pretty funny watching the owner try to choke the main character. Lincoln ended reaching for something while being choked and then hit the owner. I thought that was pretty unrealistic. It didn't even look like a good choke either. It's pretty funny how one notices these things after being trained. In the movies and TV, people always die right after they pass out. Now I know that's not the case. It takes a little while for them to die. I don't know how long though. It probably depends on what type of choke one does too. I found a good review about the movie if you want to know more about it.
I'm sorry that I'm not doing anything interesting on a regular basis anymore. I have to focus on school and allow my side and chest to heal. I can still feel it when I press down on my chest. I felt my side when doing laundry last night and walking to the library today. I was somewhat surprised at that because I haven't felt it for a couple weeks. I don't know how it will react if I go to BJJ. Hopefully, better because I want to go 100 percent as soon as possible. This break has been good because I'm more social with the ward and doing more homework.
Again, I'm sorry that my posts became not interesting to read. For the awhile there, BJJ was the only thing that was exciting in my life. Now, I just go to school. I should start exercising again. It's just so easy not too. At least I've been going on time, which I love!!! I've been getting tired around nine or ten. Lately, I've been going to bed at 11:30 PM. Which means that I get seven to eight hours of sleep every night. My body really needs that because any thing less will make me tired during the day. With BJJ, I always wrote these really long posts that took me an hour or two to write. Then, I'd get less than six hours of sleep because of my writing and me getting excited about BJJ.
I need to remind myself that doing laundry takes forever. I should have done it right after my classes. However, I did family history work for five hours today. I needed to do some O-chem homework today because I haven't done any O-chem since Wednesday. I found out that I got a 74.5 percent which is right on the median and a little above the average on my test today. That's alright, but I thought I would have done better because of the amount of studying I've done. I really need to study tomorrow because I think that I'll have a quiz on Wednesday. Like I said, I wanted it study today, however got distracted doing family history work. It's going to take years to go through all of my family history because of all the duplicates.
I went to watch Death of a Salesman today by Theater Mitu. It was the best play I've ever seen in my life. I think it was better than Lion King that's a Broadway production. It only cost me six dollars to see it too. This is the first play that I've seen in Provo. It was hosted by BYU. The original ticket price was 11 dollars. I wanted to see this play because two years ago, I took a theater class at SCC. I loved that class. Part of the reason is we got to do lots of improv which was a lot fun. Part of this class, we watched Death of a Salesman with Dustin Hoffman. I didn't realize how old that movie was because I just discovered that it was made in 1985!!!!
I probably came in a half an hour late because I thought the play started at two thirty instead of at two. When I came in, I was lost because had to figure out who everyone was and what was going on. Eventually, I started to remember the characters. When watching the play, I imagined all the characters that were objects as real people that I saw in the movie. I remembered Bernard, Ben, and the ladies. I imagined some of the scenes from the movie too.
I loved the objects because the bought life to the real people and other characters. Ben was a lighted up fan, the boss was a long florescent light, and Bernard a little one. Willy was just like as Dustin Hoffman portrayed him in the movie. However, Biff was much more emotional and strong. In the movie, he seemed more of a wimp. Hap got so annoying that a punching bag portrayed him well. I've never seen so much anguish and hurt in people before. I've only seen it in movies. I was got so involved in the story. I really wanted to be verbal. At first, I was, but noticed that people were looking back at me. So, I tried to be quiet. I didn't want to become that annoying person. It's so hard though because I wanted to talk to and/or scream at the characters. When I become emotionally involved with anything, I love being express my feelings either verbally or physically.
This picture is taken when Willy is having a flashback, During a flashback, Biff is the football shoulder pads while the real Biff on the back portion of the stage being the voice for the pads. At first that was confusing because I didn't know why they were talking some football pads instead of the actor of Biff. In the present, Biff would be always carrying the pads for the most part. In the picture, Hap in in the background carrying the punching bag. Multiple times, Hap would ask his parents if they noticed that he was losing weight because he's always jogging in place with the punching bag on his shoulders. In the present, Hap would be the punching bag on a pole with the puppeteer being his voice. At the last scene, the puppeteer had his mask off when they were fighting. That was such a wonderful play!!! It was three hours long including the intermission.
Here's a their website so you can take a look at more of their pictures so you can know what I'm talking about. Here's a review about the production too.
I really like seeing how many people visit this blog. It's kind of cool. Right now, everyone is wanting to read more about President Monson. One of the Google searches is "Has President Monson seen Christ?" I thought that was really interesting. I don't think it really matters. Probably, he has though, but won't tell us because it's way too sacred. I think that all the prophets has probably seen Jesus Christ in one point in their lifetimes.
I went and saw Toy Story 2 in 3D today in the movie theater. I haven't seen that movie for a long time. So, I squawked a lot. For those who haven't met me, when I laugh, I sort of screech. I slide my voice to a very high note like a warm up instead of doing a regular laugh. It's funny that I go really high because I was an alto two. That means that I go lower than most girls. When I squawk, those high notes are really supported and doesn't make that much energy to hit them. However, when I sing high, they aren't that supported so it's easier to sing in an octave lower.
Man!!! I haven't written for a week now. Sorry. Last Monday, I stayed up all night and my sleeping schedule went through a loop. I slept during the day and was up all night. Plus, I dived right into my family history. Last Monday, I discovered that my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, finally let it's members in Utah and Idaho use the new Family Search website. I started really working on my line. This new website lets us know where temple work has been done for our ancestors or not. My line is so huge!!! When going back, I ran into King Josiah, Jeremiah, Issiah, and the king of Troy!! I couldn't believe that I ran into some famous people. Then in another line, I went all the way back to Adam and Eve. I couldn't believe it!! I didn't know that one could go that far like that. I couldn't believe that I ran into prophets and kings in the Old Testament. That's a long time ago. Mary Lu said that it's pretty unusual to have a line that big. I was looking at her line because it's pretty small compared to mine.
I became really absorbed in that for three to four days. I'm not working on it as much now because of school. I have an O-chem test tomorrow. I still need to go through the problems that are in the back of two chapters in my O-chem book. I'm sorry that this entry is pretty boring. If only Roberto didn't kick me out, this entry would be way more exciting. Actually, I'm very thankful and glad that he kicked me out because I'm way more devoted to my schoolwork now. I'm working on getting caught up now. I didn't do so well on a O-chem quiz. I'm being really hard on myself because I became so obsessed about BJJ. School is way more important than BJJ. It was just hard to balance because I was having the time of my life training that much. However, I was letting my homework slide big time. I'm just glad that I was kicked out before any of my tests. My homework load is bigger during the summer term.
So, I promised myself that I'll catch up before I do anything. I still might do some things with the BJJ BYU club. However, I still want to be kind to my side. I hardly feel it now which is a very good thing. I don't want to practice and feel it again afterwards. I want to take an aerobic class or two here at BYU work on my cardio. I don't want to lose the muscle and cardio that I've built up during my training.
So, I'm keeping dreaming about Roberto. However, the last time I dreamed about BJJ, only Zach and Nick was in my dream. The guys like Nick and Zack will advance faster than me in BJJ now because I'm more focused on school. I feel a little sad about that. Last week, I was thinking about writing Roberto a message saying that I was sorry that I hurt his feelings and that I still wanted to be his friend. While training, I discovered that I'm pretty much on an equal playing ground with everyone else. I think that's so cool because everything else which involves being on my feet, I always lag behind. I was thinking that I won't go back even if he accepted my apology.
Now, I don't want to write him a message any more because I think he visited this blog again. If it was him, he definitely knows how I feel about the whole situation. I'm pretty happy at myself that I haven't written anything to him since he kicked me out. That tells me that I'm successfully distancing myself from him and getting on with my life. :) At least, people will have more information about him because of my blog if they search for his name on Google. I'm really trying not to say anything bad about Roberto on this blog because I still think he's a good person, just mislead and misguided, unlike Chinen. I know that people constantly visit my Northwest Profiles on Sensei Chinen post which is a good thing.
I want to save this little entry that I wrote on September 24: "I just watched the Double Helix in MMBio today. It was really thought provoking. I watched Watson and Crick be detectives and figure out the structure of DNA. They had to pull from multiple different sources. They were also racing against time too. It was making me think why I’m here at BYU. It’s because I need to become an innovator and thinker. We solve problems and draw from multiple view points. I think that I need to suck it up and start doing my homework. I just want to play and not do it. So, I wait until the last minute. Plus, I’m always getting distracted here at home." This movie really made me think why I'm here at BYU.
