Trying to go on my mission

Hi. I haven't wrote in this blog for a month now. I could have written two weeks ago, however was too busy or getting distracted doing other things. I have three blogs now. One is for me to read, the other is my commentary about the scriptures which I have closed because I wrote some very personal, spiritual experiences, and this one. I been pretty much spending my time reading the commentaries about 1 Nephi. Plus, I have adding comments and quotes from the commentaries that I have already wrote for 1 Nephi Chapters 1-12. Right now, I'm almost done with chapter 9 because I want to write something in it.

I've been doing OK in this time of my life. Spring was a happy time for me because my classes were easy, I was going to Institute (a place where I take religious classes) Monday through Thursday, and I wasn't working. When that was going on, I knew it was a very happy time for me because normally classes are hard and I couldn't go to Institute practically everyday. Plus, I got know and love my Institute teacher, Brother Adams, because I was the pretty much the only one in his class.

These past few summer months has been really hard on me because something really bad happened to me. I was sexually abused and molested by my Uncle. I decided to put this on my regular blog because sexual abuse is really hush, hush in our society. What happened between him and me doesn't really upset me. What upsets me is that now I have to go through more loops to go on my mission. I've talked about going on my mission on this blog last year and how they said "no". I've been talking to people since spring about going on my mission because Brother Adams suggested that I should. I've been talking about it for at for 4 months now. I started talking about it to Brother Adams around the first or second week of April. August will be my fifth month.

I took my time about it in the Spring because I was busy and didn't want to pester President Pitcher. I waited for a month to call me back (I think) about talking to Brother Cabbage. He never did, so I called him back. Everything was looking very good and wonderful because it looked like that I'd be starting my papers for my mission. I talked to Brother Cabbage who's a counselor. He said that he didn't see any problems. Then Uncle Rich had to screw it up for me. I went back to see him again to talk about what had happened. I never would have thought by telling him this, he thought I was too trusting and my social level was at a young teenager's. I knew that wasn't true. I only trusted Uncle Rich because he's my only uncle who's active in the LDS church.

The decision has been bouncing around the people who I've been talking to. At first, it was Brother Cabbage and the Bishop. So, I wanted to talk to Brother Cabbage telling him how I disagreed with him. I called him four times and even sent him an email about it. He never responded back. At this time, I was getting frustrated because I wanted to fix these problems. Now last week, four people got together and decided that I should see a psychiatrist (Dr. Ashby) because they wanted a second opinion. I was thankful for that because I thought he would be neutral about the whole thing. Now, I'm not so sure because after talking to him this week, he warned me about how the church didn't like sending who have Asperger's syndrome because of the hardships. I was a little surprised that he said Asperger's syndrome because I only told them I have High Functioning Autism. However, I've read that HFA (High Functioning Autism) is pretty much the same thing as Asperger's only that HFA has a language delay.

I've been really researching about Asperger's and HFA throughout the year. I know how they think and react to certain situations. I've been listening to people who know me and what they think too. I think that I'm not effected by my autism anymore. OK, maybe a little, but not to the extent that I'm uncomfortable socially. I met a person a guy who had Asperger's. He went on a mission, but he had to fight it by writing to someone in the first presidency. Nicole, a friend of mine, has Asperger's too. I knew she was different but she wasn't socially impaired.

I took two quizzes online to see if I had Asperger's or not. The first one is from Newsweek. I think this is pretty reliable because it's from the researchers at Cambridge's University Autism Research Center. I scored a 14 which is the average for normal people. Women tend to score 15 and men 17. The average is 11-22. They say most people with Asperger's and HFA tend to score about 35. The very high range is 32 to 50 with 50 being the highest score. I found this quiz from reading another blog about Asperger's called Life with Aspergers. He said in one of his posts where I found the quizzes, "I'm always pushing the RDOS aspie quiz because I think that it's the most accurate one out there." I trust this quiz too because of all the thought put into it and plus all the questions. This quiz said I was very likely normal or neurotypical. My autistic score was 41 out of 200 and my neurotypical score was 165 out of 200.

From taking these quizzes, reading lots about it, and listening to myself and others who know me, I don't think I have autism anymore. Now, I just have to really talk to Dr. Ashby about it and hopefully he won't see a problem. I just hope that he has had experience with HFA and Asperger's. However, I heard that there's one doctor in Washington who really knows how to diagnose Asperger's and I think he's in Seattle. I would have seen Dr. Ashby next week; however, I'm going to Priest Lake with my family all next week. So, I have to see him in two weeks. This is taking forever.

Survivor Night

I had so much fun tonight. We had an institute activity called Survivor Night. I’ve been to a Survivor night last year when I took a night class with Brother Manson. I had more fun tonight than last year. It was a really nice reprieve from what happened to me last week a couple hours ago. That just threw me through a loop of emotions. Brother Adams was there. He asked me if I felt better. I said that I feel much better. He said that I looked better too. I’m sure because I talked to him the night after it happened. After it was finished, I thanked him for his counsel. He said that I needed to someone to talk to. I just wanted to talk and take advice from him since he knows me very well. I love him so much.

I haven’t had this much fun at an activity for so long. I mean it was so much better than the SCA event and hanging out with Nicole and Brooke. The spirit was there because we were doing things that weren’t offending him. At the SCA event, there was drinking, swearing, and lots of dirty language about sex. I liked the Survivor Night because it has lots of different games. First, we had to make a banner, a song, and a chant for our tribe. Then, we all had to get in a circle and hold each other’s wrists. Brother Manson put a hula-hoop on my arm. We all had to get through the hula-hoop three times without breaking our grip and sit down. Then, we were asked multiple questions about the scriptures and church history. Then, we all lined up. There were three rows of cones of six rows. So, each of the three teams line up with the line of cones. In each of the cone, there’s a paper with a category on the outside where a person from the group can read it out loud. Then, we have to act it out without speaking. I read reality TV shows and mine was American Gladiator. Amanda Billings guessed mine. I haven’t even seen the show, just the commercials. I don’t watch TV much, just the Simpsons.

Then, we got in a circle again, put our left hands out, grab the person’s across from you, do the same thing with our other hands, then unscramble ourselves so we can be in a circle holding each other’s hands. We figured how to do that in a minute. Then, we did it again. However, we grabbed each other’s hand’s wrong where we couldn’t get out of the knot. After that, we lined up in lines again. We had to stop at certain cones when we did this. One would run and be a tree. Then, another would run around the tree and be a log. Then, another would run around the tree, jump over the log, and be a bridge. The three others had to run around the tree, jump over the log, go under the bridge, and to the finish line. Then, the tree would jump over the log, go under the bridge, and across the finish line. Then, the log and the bridge would do the same thing as the others. The first time, I was a bridge because I was tall. I think I was that last time. Then, we ran through it a second time replacing the three people who just ran through it as a log, a bridge, and a tree. I’m glad that I didn’t receive any huge grass stains when I went under the bridge. I just got little, small stains which are dots. It’s a good thing because I’m wearing nice kakis that go just below my knee. I whooped and hollered at my team when they were running through.

Then, we all put our shoes in a pile and had to pick a shoe. When we returned the shoe or sandal to the original owner, we interviewed them on a questionnaire. After filling the sheet of paper, we got into a circle and sat down. We started with a person sitting in a chair. Then, the person would tell about them who interviewed them. Then, the interviewee would sit in the chair and another person would read the questionnaire to the group. We’d keep on going through people until we ended up with the first person. I interview a guy named Hans which is a German name.

Brother Manson’s two kids helped with organizing and setting up the games. Brother Adams just watched. I’m very glad he came. I love talking with him. I learned that he played professional baseball for a year. His team moved to Mexico. He decided to stay and teach Seminary. He said that we’re going to have this in the fall. I’m definitely going to try to be there. This year, I couldn’t because something came up.

Lost almost everything!!!!!

I've been on my laptop all day. It's because I was looking for jobs on craigslistspokane.com and spokesmanreview.com. I'm looking for a job because the company that I work for called Securitas has only used me a couple times this quarter. Last quarter, I worked every Saturday at Crescent Court for 11 and a half hours. I made sure no one was destroying the building. In the morning, between 5:30 and 9:00am the building was locked up. The only people that came in were those who worked for Travelers Insurance on the upper floors of the building. I'd sit there on a stone bench that had a good view of the entrance. I would sit and read, mainly Botany. It was really nice because it made to do my homework. When the people came in, they would always pass me and I would say hello. I heard that the reason I was there was to make sure nobody was trying to break in any cars outside. However, the bench was too far away to have a good look outside. I wasn't going to sit on the floor because that's unprofessional. I found no point of getting up to check because no one was out and about early in the morning any way.

I liked it really early in the morning because I can just sit there.

I give up. I'll tell you later. I lost posting because of my stupid laptop. I have been typing for nearly 3 hours. I just lost a lot of information and time. It takes forever just to write about experiences. Then, it's very maddening that you lose it all. I thought it was safe to leave my cursor at the bottom, so if I highlight and delete anything it wouldn't be a big deal, because I can retype it over. I accidentally highlight because my thumb hits the pad that controls the courser quite a bit. Probably, I accidentally hit that little ball that controls it too. It looks like I have to type in word again and then transfer it to here. It's very maddening to write something for so long and lose it in one second. I didn't want to lose that because I was writing almost everything about my work experiences at Crescent Court, Walmart at Christmas Eve, and Altek. It's so much easier to write about things when they just happened. I still haven't fully written about my SCA event. I need to do that. Goodnight.

Changing my plans

Well, I changed my mind about becoming a Vet. I wanted to be a vet for five years, so changing my plans is a big thing for me. Now, I want to become a doctor. That's a huge step and a giant leap for me because I don't like changing my plans. Usually, I try to keep to my original plans as close as possible. Through out my schooling, my plans has always been changing. Pretty much, which classes to take and when to take them. I have always tried to plan my classes until I graduate. However, they always kept on changing. At one point, I sort of gave up on trying to plan that far. I'm at a crossroad in my life and chose to be a doctor instead of a vet. I'm graduating from Spokane Community College this month. I'm still planing on hopefully going on a mission this fall. I'm not really betting any money on that because it's still very tentative. My stake president hasn't gotten back to me yet. Hopefully, he will this week. Anyway, I was planning on going to zoo school for a year at Cat Tails up in Mead so I can gain experience with animals. Then, I'd get my BA in Neuroscience at Washington State University. After that, I'd go to vet school there if they would have accepted me. Now, I don't have to worry about paying for WSU because it's 20,000 per year. That's really expensive. I know that vet school is 33,000 a year. From what I'm seeing, med school is cheaper than vet school. After my mission, I will go to Brigham Young University to major in Neuroscience. Then, maybe to the University of Utah for med school. It just all depends on which med school will accept me though. I would write more; however, I spent most of my time watching Rescue 911 again on Youtube.

SCA TV Spot

Getting Arrested

I was arrested by the police. Err... I mean the Criminal Justice Department at SCC. It was horrible because the handcuffs hurt. In addition, I couldn't communicate with my hands!!!!

Our ASL club, Shut Up and Sign, did awareness of deaf people for our Criminal Justice Program at SCC. Our first scene was a daughter and mother was in an argument because our things were stolen. They were jewelry, keys, and $10,000. They thought I was supposed to deliver the $10,000 dollars because they miss read my writing. I have bad writing and didn't care if they couldn't read it because that would make it more real. The first two were pretty good because they knew what they were doing and how to communicate with us. Then, the second scene was when I found my mom dead and was freaking out about it because I didn't know why she wouldn't wake up. Those two were alright; however, it took forever for information to get across. I had to come up with the idea to communicate with pen and paper because they were looking through a pamphlet trying to figure out what to say. The person who was monitoring told me to get closer to them. When I did, she told me to back off. Obviously, they have a policy of personal space. Plus, they wanted me to sit all the time.

Our third scene was with all of us: Nicole, Tara, and two other girls from Sinay's ASL III class, who were with me from the other scenes. First, we decided that we were having a party and being too loud in general. We were listening to music, the vibrations, and having a good time. The door bell rang and Tara answered the door. She thought that they were part of the party, so she invited them in and continued to dance. That's when they tried to break up the party and tell us to stop dancing. I saw that Nicole was handcuffed and haled away because she attacked Tara. I didn't know where Tara went after that.

So, the two other girls and I were dancing together. At first, we kept on dancing; however, the girls stopped when they turned off the music. I put my headphones on with my I-Pod because I still wanted to dance. Plus, I wanted to act more real because I couldn't hear them with my headphones on. Then, one of us was separated. They kept on telling me to take off the headphones, including the other deaf, red head girl. At one point she physically took off my headphones my knocking them off, which is easy to do because they are so big and heavy. That made me mad. So, I swung and and accidentally hit her with the headphones. At that point, a guy grabbed my arm and tried to put me in a wrist lock. That didn't work because he wasn't doing actually locking my wrist. I could have resisted and gotten out of the lock since it wasn't doing any thing.

I thought that the actual police officer who was supervising the whole situation was telling me not to resist. So, I resisted a fair amount because I wanted it to be hard for them. Since, I’m a purple belt in karate and know how to protect and defend myself. The guy was having trouble with me, so the girl officer got involved. Somehow, both of them knocked me down to the floor. As I went down, my glasses went flying and my pants ripped. I still didn't want to give up and have them handcuff me. So, I put my arms between my chest and the floor my I was lying on my stomach. They were trying to pull my arms back behind me, but that wasn't working because it's harder to pull a limb towards you and it's easier for the other person to keep it close to their body. That's why when I grapple, I try to keep my arms as possible. I don't want to put them in a lock.

Another guy trainee got involved by I think placing his knee on my neck. I remember him talking about my neck, but don't remember feeling any thing directly on it. However, he did do something around that area to help subdue me. They finally forced my arms around my back and handcuffed me because I wasn't stronger than all three of them pulling at my arms. The handcuffs sort of hurt because they were tight. I got up fast when he started tugging at them. When I was handcuffed, the actual police officer asked the other officer if he put them on too tight and he said no. I thought they were tight enough. Then, I was told to sit on the couch. I did what I was told because the tightness of the handcuff subdued me. Plus, I couldn't really see anything because I didn't have my glasses on. I could have tried to run away to make things more difficult; however, those handcuffs were very uncomfortable. I waited for a few more minutes. As I waited the girl officer asked me some yes and no questions while telling me to stay seated all the time. All I did was shake my head yes and no while making pitiful kicks towards the officer. She wasn't even alarmed at all by the kicks.

When the real officer called it off, I was immediately unhandcuffed. I asked where my glasses were because I couldn't see. So, someone gave my glasses. The police officer mentioned that I couldn't see and hear. Then, he called everyone to get in the room to talk about what had happened. I was the first one that spoke. I told them I could have resisted and fought a lot harder. He said that they could have subdued me a lot faster. When they were subduing me, he kept on telling us things. At first, I thought he was telling me not to resist. Then, I realized that he was talking to the trainees. That's when I started to resist a lot more, however; both parties were playing it safe. I didn't resist that much because they probably don't have that much control. They were playing it safe because they didn't want to hurt me. However, the handcuffs did take some skin off on both wrists. I didn't realize that until Tera said I was bleeding a little on my wrist right after I was unhandcuffed. Plus, I have good sized knot on my knee from them knocking me to the ground. A few days later, it turned into a nasty bruise and took a long time for it to heal and go away. I don't mind though because it's all fun and games.

The police officer first told them that at the beginning, they did all right. Then when backup came, their communication fell apart because they tried to talk in ASL to each other. Then, he said that all of their eyes were looking at me when they were trying to subdue me. That's bad because they have to keep their eyes on the deaf people. They could have done something. Then, a girl asked why I had my headphones on. I told her that I was listening and feeling to the vibrations. Later, I thought that I can still hear a little, just enough to dance to if I had my volume all the way up, which would cause damage to normal ears. After that the police officer asked them what they figured out. They said I was on LSD. The red head deaf girl said that she told the trainees that I was on LSD because I was so strong. I think that's very funny. Then, the police officer said that they should have taken the owner out of the house. Then, tell him or her that that they had their music too loud and were breaking a noise ordnance. If they resist, then they can take action. They can take action when I hit the other deaf girl with my headphones because they consider that assault. (Note: all of us actors were hearing.)

I thought resisting arrest was fun. However, I'm sad that my pants ripped. Now, my grandma has to sew them up. Those pants were the ones that I wear all the time too. I only have three pairs of pants that I can now wear. I think it's about time to get me more jeans; however, I don't have the money right now.

Crunch! "Oh Crap!! Dang it!!!!!!!"

Ahhk!!!! I need to go to bed. However, I'm not that tired yet. Probably, it's because I took a 2 hour nap today. However, I'm still probably going to be tired in the morning.

Today, I ran into into my dad's Suburban with my car. For some reason, I thought it wasn't there. Probably, it's because it wasn't there today when I left and came home. So when I back out the drive way, I have to worry about not hitting the tree then, I can start turning the wheel to get turned around. I usually look back. However, this time I didn't. My mind was preoccupied about getting another job. Then, I heard a crunch. I looked back and saw the gray Suburban. I became very upset with myself because I made a huge dent in the passenger door on the driver's side. Thankfully, I didn't hurt my car. However, I would rather have it hurt my car than his car because it's already scratched up and dented on the driver's side from rolling my car on it's side during the winter. When I was freaking out, my neighbor looked what I was doing and saw the door. He said something to me; however, I don't remember what it was. Then, I went inside the house to tell Dad. He didn't yell at me; however, he was upset. Now, I owe him a door which will cost around two to three hundred dollars.

Right now I don't have that kind of money because my work isn't using me. I haven't worked in the last two weeks. I'm afraid that my health insurance will go away because I can't miss the payment two times in a row. So, probably I have to get another job. I like working for Securitas because it's very easy and no one really supervises me. However, they need to give me more hours! I'm not liking this anymore. I want more money. I want to always have at least 500 dollars in my bank account. I don't want all of my money to go away.

Being trapped in my bedroom

Yesterday morning (1:30), I woke up and wanted to go to the bathroom. I tried to do that; however, my door wouldn’t open. The knob from the inside of my bed room doesn’t work anymore. I thought I was trapped because using my Student ID wasn’t working. However, mom woke up from me playing with my knob and let me out. Later that morning when Mom and Evan have gone to work and school, I accidentally closed my door. I knew I wouldn’t be able to open it from the inside. I tried again and then, my attention turned to my window. It ended up that my screen pops in and out fairly easy. So, I jumped out of my window and let myself in through the front door. The jump was a little high though. I was a little nervous about doing it. Thankfully, it’s just dirt that’s beneath it whereas a bush or some flowers. I didn’t like how I landed because I used my feet and wrists. However, I know that one shouldn’t use your hands like that because that a good way to injure them. I used to be OK at rolling; now I forget how to do it.

Last night, I dreamed that I was in a mental institution. It wasn’t really supervised, so a guy took advantage of me. In my dream, I wanted to use institution like a motel where I would spend one night and be on my way. However, they didn’t want to let me go.

We filmed our commercial yesterday. I looked very pretty and professional. Nicole did my eye shadow and lipstick. She have me some tips about make up because she used to be a model. My wallet fell out my pocket while I was changing and didn’t notice. When I got home, security left me a message saying that they have found my wallet. I have to wait until Monday to get it back. I also left my hanger for my skirt in the bathroom.

My Talking Stain

I love this commercial. I seen it around 20 times now. The last part gets me every time. It always makes me smile and laugh a little. Nicole, Jeni, and I are going to make a spoof of this for our ASL class. 

Here's the script for my part. Well, you know, I’m an organized person. I’m somebody who does not leave details… out. I’m actually read really good with Bruce… Cooper. I have surpassed all my goals in my previous position, my prior job and your competitor. My personality of me has… surpassed… their own goals.


 

It's been awhile...

Wow. I haven’t written for so long. I’m writing again because Zenhg said to update more often. So, what has happened to me the last six months? Hummmm. I haven’t advanced very far in karate because of work.

I learned what’s working like. My first job was a mold operator. I worked with machines that spit out plastic parts and had to check for defects, snip the extra plastic, place them in plastic bags, and put them into boxes. This was during night shift and when I was fired, I was making 10 dollars an hour. I was fired because I talked to people when I wasn’t suppose to. That job wasn’t stimulating my mind enough. It was very repetitive because I did the same thing all night long. Thankfully, I didn’t do the same thing for every night in a row. However, I hated not working with the machines. If one wasn’t assigned to a machine, one had to housekeeping. I hated being out in Limbo Land because it was so boring. Once, I was out in Limbo Land for all night long, which was for eight hours. It was hard because I couldn’t find anything to clean. I’d much rather work with a machine that kept me busy. However, some of the machines stank because they would spit the parts out too fast. I would get behind on a machine where, the next night, another person would be fine with it. I know that didn’t look good on my part. Plus, I was taking breaks longer than I should have on accident. Once, I thought I was on time, but then realized I wasn’t because I read the clock wrong.


When, I was working there, I killed my Buick Regal. This is what it looked like; however, it was blue and in a little nicer condition. However, the front bumper and grill was white because last January a guy with a Chevy pick up ran right into me. He took out my lights, grill, bumper, and tweaked my hood. I was going to get a ticket for that one because the police officer thought was I backed out in front him. I was completely backed out; however, my power steering fluid was low. So, it took me around five seconds to get my wheels turned where I can go. Just when I looked up to drive off, I saw him coming right toward me. Of course, it was too late and wasn’t able to do anything. When I contested, the teenager said I didn’t back up at all. So, the judge threw it out and I didn’t even have to testify. Anyway, I killed the engine by letting it overheat. One day, it was acting funny. The temperature light came on. I called my dad about it; however, he said it was fine because I still had water and the fan was blowing. Luckily, when I was going to work, my sister and her boyfriend was with me. They were with me because in the morning, my sister was going to pick me up to go to Montana for a white water rafting. While, I was driving on the interstate my care died and wouldn’t start again. (It would start later; however, it barely drove because it kept dying on me.) Rhea’s boyfriend was able to find some of his friends to pick us up, drop me off work, and drop Rhea off at my grandma’s house, so we could use her Subaru Outback for the next day. I ended up giving my car to Pull and Save, a local business where they let people in their yard and yank parts off of cars.

I wasn’t sad that I killed my car because it was really crappy, although I liked my car better than the Suburban and the Mazda MPV. The Suburban is way too big and the Mazda cramped me to much. The steering wheel slipped too. We only bought my car for five hundred dollars, a good buy. However, there were things wrong with it. The power steering leaked like there was no tomorrow. It had a little reservoir for the fluid, so I had to keep on filling it up. The driver’s side window didn’t like to work. It was too small. It had only two doors; however, it did fit five people comfortably. However, I wanted more room to put my school stuff. I did like the electronic speedometer because it was easier to read than the regular ones. I hated the heater because it would take forever for it to heat up the car. It was an old, crappy car.

Interview

This meme has been circulating the internet for a while now. Here are the rules if you'd like to play:
1. Leave me a comment saying "Interview Me."
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with the questions and answers.
4. You will include this explanation and offer to interview readers in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

This interview is by Supergroup. Thank you Supergroup.

1. Which kata is your favorite and why?
I don’t really have a favorite right now. I only know four kata, which are Gekisai Dai Ichi, Gekisai Dai Ni, Saifa, and Seiyunchin. It’s probably Seiyunchin though because it’s long and it doesn’t have any kicks. I don’t know all the details to it yet because I’m still working and trying to prefect Saifa. If any of you don’t know what Saifa and Seiyunchin looks like, here are some links that will show my Sensei performing them.
Saifa - http://www.spokanekarate.com/kata/saifa.php
Seiyunchin - http://www.spokanekarate.com/kata/index.php

2. Do you do any other sports, or hobbies than karate?
I ski during the winter. However, since we moved from Anaconda, Montana, I haven’t skied as much as I would have liked. Last winter, I skied around five times. I was spoiled with Discovery Basin in Montana because it was a half hour away from Anaconda, it was cheap, we had our own little shack since my mom taught skiing, and the runs were fabulous because they had to very easy (green) to expert (double diamond). I normally skied the diamonds that didn’t have any moguls. My mom still needs to teach me how to ski moguls because I’m terrible at it. I’m afraid that I’ll lose control, go flying over a mogul, and won't be able to stop myself from sliding down the hill because it’s very steep.

I love reading. My favorite books are the Tennis Shoe Series and Harry Potter “The Prisoner Azkaban” and “Goblet of Fire”. Right now, I’m reading The Work and the Glory, “A Season of Joy” by Gerald N. Lund. It’s part of a fictional series that deals with LDS history. I love the series because I get to learn about what my ancestors went through and because I gain a deeper testimony of Joseph Smith. In addition, I get to put all the stories that I read or heard over the years in chronological order.

3. What was the biggest lesson you learned when you competed in your last karate tournament?
Never ever borrow sparring equipment from the dojo. It was a pain because they didn't have any feet protectors my size. I don't have to worry about that any more because I finally have my sparring equipment.

4. Will you be learning how to use a weapon in Goju karate? If not, is there a Martial arts weapon that you would be curious about, and want to learn?
Since Institute was moved to Wednesdays, I’m going to start attending the weapons class on Tuesdays. Next, month we are going to learn about the kai (oar). One time, I attended a weapons class that taught me that basics of the Bo.

5. Do you have a pet? Would you want one?
My family has a cat named Miss Piggy. When we first got her, we call her Digit but changed it to Miss Piggy because she loves to eat. When she lived with us on the farm in Three Forks, Montana, and in Anaconda, Montana, we fed the right amount of food; although she complained about it a lot because she always meowed at us wanting to be fed. She didn’t complain to us kids a much as she did to my dad. He’d get up in the middle of the night or the early hours in the morning because Miss Piggy would sit at my parent’s door and meow. She rarely did that to my door because she knew that I would not feed her.

Now, Miss Piggy lives at my Grandma’s house. Grandma over feeds her pets so Miss Piggy and her dog, Missy, are over weight. It was fun having Miss Piggy live with us because she’s such a character. She’s loud, talkative, thinks that she’s a dog, and always wants to be around people. I would like to have a cat when I’m older. I may get a dog also; however, it must be well trained because I don’t want some dog that tears up my yard and my house.

My Mission and My Autism

These thoughts have been milling around my brain today and I want to write about them. I have Autism and Attention Deficit Disorder. My A.D.D. doesn’t affect me much because I took myself off Ritalin a year ago. However, my Autism is still affecting and will affect me my whole life. What’s so frustrating is that I don’t know how much it affects me and how much different I am from the norm. I don’t even know what is a normal person. I think that everyone is different in his or her own little ways. Then, why do I stand out from other people?

I’m writing about this because it just got in the way of me going on my mission. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to go on my mission. I mostly want to go because I want to get the benefits that result on going on a mission. I want to grow closer to Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost. I want to recognize the difference between my thoughts and the Holy Ghost’s promptings. I want to help to build up the Kingdom of God. Now, because of my Autism I can’t go.

More than a month ago, I saw a counselor that was recommended by my family’s bishop. He asked me many weird questions like, “What does your tears mean?” when I got upset. I thought that the missionary evaluation went very well because I didn’t see any problems with me going on a mission. Last week, the counselor and my family’s bishop recommended to my bishop that I shouldn’t go on my mission. Therefore, last Sunday my bishop said that I can’t go on a full time mission and I can be a ward missionary instead. I cried all day because it was such a major blow. Now, I want to go back and talk to my bishop tomorrow and ask why they recommended me that I shouldn’t go on a mission. My parents have always told me that I can do any thing in the world if I wanted to. Going on a mission is one of those things I want to do.

I know that my bishop can receive revelation from Heavenly Father for me. Did he honestly pray to Heavenly Father that I should go on a mission? If he did and God said no, I wouldn’t question his answer. The way that I see it, is that I can go on a mission, it’s just God doesn’t want to me go when I’m young. If my bishop didn’t and just accepted the advice from the other bishop and counselor, I’m going to question it until I see valid reasons for their decision.

Right now, I’m somewhat leery of the counselor. I know that he evaluated me to see if I can go on my mission or not. However, is an hour enough time to make that decision? I’m leery towards the counselor because of an experience. When I was a senior in high school, I took a standardized test to see how well I was going to do in college by a psychologist. In his evaluation, he said that wouldn’t be able to graduate with a four-year degree because I wasn’t going to do well in college. I think he said that I’m going to be horrible in math because I had him constantly repeat the numbers that I had to repeat back to him. All I remember is that he defiantly miss-evaluated me. Therefore, the person that had me evaluated said that I shouldn’t pursue my pre-vet education and said that I should pursue a degree in accounting or radiology. I proved them wrong because I’m not having any problems in school. In addition, I have taken hard classes like chemistry and calculus. Right now, my GPA is 3.67.

I don’t know if my family’s bishop should have any say because he doesn’t even know me. There is a guy who has Autism who’s around the same age as me in his ward. From what I heard from my family, I know he’s worse that me. Is the bishop basing his recommendation from what he knows from that guy? I hope not because Autistics can be very different from each other.

I’ll never know why Heavenly Father gave me Autism. In the Book of Mormon, in Ether 12: 26-27 God said: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them. Behold, I will show unto the Gentiles their weakness, and I will show unto them that faith, hope and charity bringeth unto me—the fountain of all righteousness.” I know Heavenly Father will help me with my weaknesses and make them strong in His own due time. If He helped me in school, He’ll help me with my Autism.

Blue Belt

I was awarded a blue belt last Friday, which means that I'm officially a 6th kyu in my dojo. I don't really consider this a promotion because I was already a 6th kyu in my old dojo. All along I considered myself much better than the green (7th kyu) and blue belts. However, I'm not as good as the purple belts (5th kyu). I thought I was better because I knew more kata than they did. Green belts were just learning Saifa. I already mastered that until Sensei led me through it and taught me all of the little details. However, they know bunkai and spar better than I.

I knew that I was going to test next month. Three weeks ago, I talked to Sensei Jen that I don't know when I'm going to test and probably it won't be for a long time. Sensei overheard and said that I was going to test next month because I need to get moving along. So, I went to the testing for April because I wanted to train in the atmosphere that I'll be testing in next month. I really like testing days because it's like my old dojo. We keep doing techniques repeatedly until Sensei tells us to stop. By the end of testing, I’m tired and sweaty. I’m never like that in a normal class.

Brain Man

Here's a seires of vidoes that really captivated me.

The tournament

I liked this tournament much better than the last one. Probably, I enjoyed better because it was smaller and I participated in it. I did alright. In my kata division, two green belts, a blue belt, and a purple belts. I went first and preformed Saifa because I worked on and improved it the night before. I beat a lady and won third place. My Sensei said that judges like to score conservative for the first person. For some reason, I went first in all three of my divisions.

My sparring is a different story. I don’t have sparring gear yet. Therefore, I had to borrow some from the dojo. I’m NOT going to do that ever again because they didn’t have feet pads that fit. I had to put on these things that were way too small. My feet wanted to burst out of them and be free. When I was looking for gear, they called of me first and so they had to wait for me to put the gear on. Thankfully, the head judge helped me put on my gear on because I was having trouble with it especially those feet pads.

My point sparring match was terrible. All of my training went out of the window. I reverted back to attacking with both hands instead of doing combos. I didn’t help that I didn’t know that it was a point sparring match until after the match. I know that we were tied at the end of it because of the helpers said next point wins. So, I wasn’t doing that horrible and could have gone forward. However, I lost to a white belt and was a runner up. After the match, Nyles came up to me and said don’t use two hands to attack, use combos.

My continuous match was much better. I sparred with a blue belt that was pretty good. The second half during the match actually started using my head. I know that one point I came in threw some stuff and backed out without her punching my vital areas. During the match, I did get a warning for contact. Of course she beat me; however; she beat a purple belt too. Therefore, I won third place too. After the match, Cory said that I lost because I needed more control.

A little nervous

I’m going to participate in my first tournament tomorrow. I went to a tournament before; however, I didn’t participate. I was going to do kata but I totally missed my division. Tomorrow, I’m going to do kata, point sparring, and continuous sparring. I’m nervous about sparring because I haven’t done it with the full gear yet and I’m not good. I hope that my sparring gear comes in today for the tournament tomorrow. If it doesn’t, I have to borrow from somebody. What am I going to do for a mouth guard because I can’t borrow that? I asked Sensei if I could be in the beginners sparring because I don’t spar. However, he said no and that I had to be in the intermediate.

I was planning on not participating because the last tournament got boring. It wasn’t worth 35 dollars just to do a single kata. It didn’t help that I had four or five hours of sleep that night. I hate being that tired because I’m so sensitive and emotional. This time, it will be better because it’s going to be here in Spokane. It only cost me 25 dollars and my school is hosting it. Plus, many members of my dojo are participating.

I’m going to do Seiyunchin for my kata. I like it the best because it’s the longest and it doesn’t have any kicks. However, I hardly practice it and I only know the basic jist of it. I don’t know all the details that I know for the Gekisai kata and for Saifa. At the end of class last night, everyone did their kata tournament style two at a time. The girl next to me did a Gekisai kata while I did Seiyunchin. Therefore, all the dojo watched my kata because Seiyunchin is a lot longer than a Gekisai kata. I was a little nervous before I went up. However, there wasn’t that mental block that I had when throwing the disk. I did pretty well; however, I forgot a kiai.

I like my kiai the best out of the girls. Nicole, who’s a black belt, sounds like a little yapping dog when she kiais. The kiai of other girls sound way do deep for them. In this dojo, we kiai Eee I Eee instead of EHHH! I mostly do EHHH when kiai out of habit. I don’t know if EHHH or Eee I Eee is better for a kiai.

Self-defence

This is going to be short because I need to go to bed. Today, we did self-defense in our street clothes today. I paired up with Nyles a 1st kyu who’s about the same size as me. When we first paired up, Sensei wasn’t sure about me pairing up with him; but he said that I could hit hard. First, we worked on kicking at the knee with a sidekick. Then, we worked on elbows. While training, he said that he’s sorry for the person if he or she attacks me. That was the coolest complement. Maybe I can defend myself if someone attacks me. However, I need to have a quick mind and be committed because I don’t want them attacking back when I start. I felt the punches and kicks of my fellow karate mates with the body bag. I’ll tell you that if one of them actually hits me hard, that would hurt and stun me. If anyone attacks me, I would use palm heel, knee, and elbow strikes. My palm heel strike is much harder than a regular punch. My elbow strike is one of my most powerful strikes too. I don’t think that I would use any kicks because they would be useless. I would kick them and bounce off because I’m off balance. That wouldn’t be good. The only kick that I would use is to the back of the knee when I get around to their back.

When we were done working with the bags, we got into groups of threes to work on defending another person from an attacker. I was hoping I was going to stay with my group because of Nyles and Andrew; however, Sensei switched me to another group that had a green belt and a white belt. We first worked on our posture when telling a person that we didn’t want any trouble. Then if he attacked, I would grab him in the throat, punch him in the head, knee him a couple times, and elbow him to the base of the skull. While I did this with the green belt whose male, I accidentally kneed him in the groin. He didn’t go down or anything like that, he just stood there with is hands on his knees waiting for the pain to subside. Good thing it wasn’t full power because he would have dropped like a sack of potatoes.

After class, I found out that my nerves are retarded because some of the pressure points in the arm don’t work on me. There’s a spot where one rubs across a tendon. Sensei rubbed there so I can feel it; however, it hurt a little but now enough to where I would jump and squirm. Then, Sensei Jen tried another pressure point just behind the elbow; however, I didn’t feel anything what so ever.

Kickboxing and The Conversation

Hi. I realized that kickboxing is going to be really basic with the kicking and punching. Why am I taking this class? I thought it was going to be interesting and fun. It may get better but I don’t know. Why do we have wraps because I know some of the students weren’t properly taught how to wrap their hands? We’re not going to punch with them either. It’s an OK workout but, I’m afraid it will get repetitive.

I finally saw Sensei walking out of the gym on the outside. I don’t think he saw me. He was wearing his gi and his light grey vest. I was going to a route that would pass him; however, I avoided it and took another route instead. Then, I talked to an acquaintance about karate in the locker room because she was taking it. I told her that I already took that class for two quarters and that Sensei went bad on me. I told her that she was learning Goju-Ryu and the kata she’s going to learn. She said that she didn’t know that she was going to come back to the first week because Sensei is very gruff and roar. That’s very typical. Now, he was nicer today. I told her that Sensei always nicer at SCC than in the dojo. Then, she asked me what a dojo was. I told her that it’s a place were one learns and practices karate. Then, she asked me that the card that he gave her was to his dojo. I said yes. She thought it was to his restaurant. This is a typical conversation I have with starting students; but, this was more in depth.

My Purse

Last night we had a Ladies Night, which means that we were taught basic self-defense with purses and keys. If a man grabs me on my arm, I can smack him in the face with my purse and stop down on his foot. However, I never carry a purse except when I go to church. Probably, I would break something if I hit a man with full force with my purse because it contains my scriptures. I always carry my backpack around for school so this lesson didn’t really apply to me.

I would have written more; however, I finally found out how to download music from Magnatune.com. Now, it’s time to go to bed.

Punching with wraps

This morning was my first kick boxing class. It’s going to be a watered down class because it’s more for fitness and it’s only for 45 min.

First, why do we have to wear wraps? The internet says that it’s to protect your tendons and bones in your hands. However, why did we wear them today because we didn’t hit anything with them? The girls who came back say that it feels weird to not punch without the wraps because they becomes like gloves to them. With me, I think that they are alright, but they are unnecessary. I wouldn’t want to hit anything with them because I can’t properly make a fist and I can’t see where my first two knuckles are.

After class, I wanted to practice on the stand up punching bags; however, my instructor stopped me because of liability reasons. First, she said that I cannot punch the bag without wraps or even punching mitts. I don’t agree with that. Even though I have limited experience with punching bags, I know that I can punch it with my bear hand. I have can’t go all out because I don’t want to hurt them. The point is that I have control. Maybe, many people get injured on the bags because they don’t have any control and don’t know what their limits are. Second, she said that I couldn’t even kick it because she hasn’t taught me yet. On Tuesday, I told her that I’m in karate and I’ve been in it for over a year. Maybe she forgot. I don’t think that will help because of the stupid liability issues.

All I want is for kickboxing to overlap with karate. I want this to help me with sparing because I need to work on throwing punches from a fighting stance and a guard. I need help with combos too. In class today, we learned to wrap our hands which I got lost with her instruction. I learned better when I was on the internet. Then, we learned to do the jab and cross with music. Then, we worked on pivoting and slipping a little. After that, we did some stretching. Then, we tested our selves on how many push ups and sit ups we can do. I did 50 sit ups and 25 girl push ups. I received a very good rating. I was quite well pleased because I did better than my partner and I didn’t expect that rating.