Pain

Supergroup, let me honor you again by answering your questions which are on my first post.

I have thought about people stealing my school work. I know that I can’t write a blog like I would in a journal. It’s very similar; however, there are a few limits to blogging. For example, I can’t put the last names of anyone that I know except for Teruo Chinen because already he’s on the internet.

I acquired four bloody knuckles from punching the makiwara. Sensei was teaching the white belts how to punch it. We punched it for a long time. He even left us to teach the brown belts a kata. I would have switched to another technique so I can save my knuckles. However, I didn’t because Sensei didn’t say any thing about it and I didn’t want to get into trouble. However, I did sneak in forearm strikes at the end. When Sensei saw my knuckles and Theora’s, he said that we could have used another technique. I was mad because I really would have worked on all the things that I have learned on the Makiwara, instead of punching and hurting my knuckles. My knuckles weren’t as bad as Theora’s. Her knuckles were ripped open in both hands and got blood on the makiwara’s. So, after class Theora and I had to wipe the blood off. They took a couple weeks to heal.

At the last day during Gasshuku, I acquired blisters the knuckle of both pointer fingers from doing knuckle push-ups. I sort of want calluses on my knuckles, so knuckle push-ups won’t hurt. However, they don’t look very good on hands. I know that Sempai John has them on his knuckles. I don’t know if any of the women has them in my dojo. I have to see tomorrow. I don’t know how long it takes to develop calluses on knuckles.

Has anyone have done elbow push-ups? They are the most painful push-up and exercise I have done in my entire life. During Gasshuku, we had to do that one day. I didn’t do a push-up because it was hard enough to hold myself.

I found out that I broke my foot when I was sparring with Captain David. I don’t know how I broke it. I think that he blocked too hard when I kicked him. When I got home that night, I noticed that the top of my right foot was all swollen. I didn't hurt when I walked on it; however, it hurt when I pressed down on it. I thought it was nothing and had it wrapped for a couple days. Then, a week later, it turned all black and blue. My family thought that I either sprained or broke it. A month later I noticed that I had a big bump on the top of my foot. I was afraid that the bump was a broken bone sticking out. I went to the doctor and found out that I had a hair line fracture. The bump was a calcium deposit.

During Gasshuku, a toe on both feet decided to split on the second day. I knew that I had to prevent it from splitting even worse when training. So, I decided to put some medical tape on it so see it that helps. I noticed that medical tape doesn’t hold very well because twice it came off my toe on different days. On the third day, I used athletics tape over the medical tape and wrapped it with my middle toe so it can stay on better. The tape protected the big split; however, it didn’t prevent it from splitting even more. I noticed that it healed faster when I protected it with tape. My dad says the splits are from athlete’s foot. I haven’t used a lotion with vitamin E to moisturize them or Aloe Vera to help them heal.

Seiyunchin and Dancing

Hi. Karate was fun today. It started like usual because we all self-practicing when the younger class got over. I started practicing Seiyunchin which I started learning on Tuesday. I’ve gone through it with everyone doing the kata in Gasshuku, Tuesday, and today. On Tuesday, Sempai David (the green belt) taught me most of it. However, it’s a long kata and I only went through it five times with him. So, today I practiced the beginning because that’s all I know. When practicing, Sempai David showed me a step or two when I got stuck. When he helped me for the last time, he started practicing the Sepai Bunkai Oyo which I learned during Gasshuku. I wanted to describe it through words so I won’t forget it, however; it would be really complicated. Today, I realized that I have to practice it without a partner so I won’t forget it.

So, I started practicing the Bunkai Oyo. When I was practicing, Sensei was sitting in his office and asked me what I was practicing. I told him and continued. I was up to Bunkai Oyo number four when Sensei came up to me and wanted me to do Bunkai Oyo number three. I went through it once with him helping me. Then, he grabbed Sempai John to do it with me. For a second, I thought Sempai John was going to be hard on me. However, it was fine because Sensei supervised us and he wasn’t teaching me. When we did it a second time, Sensei wanted everyone to watch us. When I got up, Sensei said to me not to hurt his black belt. Then, we did it one more time. I know that I looked bad because I wasn’t smooth. When I was back handing Sempai John, I didn’t know to use my hand or arm. When we were both on the ground, my kick to the stomach was really light. I don’t know how much power to use. When we were done, Sensei made everyone clap because I did very well for a green belt. I wanted to do more Bunkai Oyo; however, for the rest of the night, we did kata.

It’s nice being a green belt because now I can do Seiyunchin with everyone. Plus, I have caught up with Sempai Mesha and Sempai David. Getting promoted is expensive though. It cost me ten dollars when I was promoted as a white belt. Now, it went up to $30 dollars when I became a green belt. Sempai Scott told me that it cost an additional eight dollars for my obi. I have an obi however, it’s way too small because it’s a size two and it’s only temporary. I can only wrap it around me once instead of twice. Hopefully, Sensei can remember to bring me a new one on Tuesday. When I get it, I’m going to wash it so I can soften it up. The one I have is really stiff. I miss my white belt because it was soft and easy to tie. I realized that I’m never going to wear my white belt again. I was going to resew one of the stripes because the ends of the thread are not tied down. I had to sew on my stripe very quickly because I didn’t have time to put very many stitches in. Good thing I sewed it on because Sensei looked at my belt and noticed when he first saw me during class.

When I sew on my stripe on my green belt, it has to be two fingers away from the end. Plus, I have to take of the label which is on the obi. Whenever I put on the obi, the stripe has to be on my left side. Sempai Erick, who’s from Seattle, told me these three things. I noticed that my Sempai Diana hasn’t taken off the label on her obi. However, I’m going to not copy her and obey my Sempai Erick because he’s a high black belt. I met him on the first day of Gasshuku, when we were all at Sensei’s house. He said that women can be express and be themselves when doing karate not like socity. I know that he’s been doing karate for more than 20 years. He made a good impression on me when we visited. Therefore, I tried to hang around him whenever I had the chance. For example, I walked with him and Sempai Ross when we were at the park. I felt very comfortable talking and visiting with him. At the park, there was an actual youth circus that had clowns. I told him that I have never seen clowns in real life before. He told me to get closer, so I can see them better. The clowns had a stupid act. For the finale, they had a small boy tight rope thirty feet in the air.

As we were walking through the park, Sensei made all of us learn some dances by a Japanese lady and her group. It was one of those things where everyone was welcome to learn the dance. The first dance included a fan. When I slapped the fan with my hand, it didn’t make the sound it was supposed to because it was broken. The second dance included a paper plate that had some tissue paper glued on it. The third dance didn’t have anything. It was a dance that looked like we were digging something. I know that I heard the song for the thrid dance before. Sensei knew it too, so Sensei started singing along with it. Actually, he was in tune for the most part. I was impressed because not many people "Ok" singers without the proper training.

For the second dance, I was behind the Japanese lady and for the third dance, I was behind one of her helpers. I went behind them because it was easier to learn from the person in front of me. In the first dance, it was hard to learn because none of her helpers were that close to me.

When I was dancing, Sensei said everyone to look at me twice. When we were all dancing, Sensei made us all kiai. At first, people thought it was very funny, but by the third dance, people didn’t think laugh any more because it got old. Sensei liked the third dance so much, that we did it twice. When we were waiting for a song to start, Sensei made all of us go into Shiko dachi and punch a few times. I wanted to perform more for the crowd because I wanted people see what we do. However, that was the only thing we did that was karate related.

I know that when we were at the park, we stood out like sore thumbs. When we first walked in the park, someone said asked us if we were a soccer team. Sensei got mad and called him an idiot. Sempai Linda said that it was like we were all wearing clown suits. She said that when people make stupid comments toward us, I can’t talk to them at all. However, if people are sincerely interested in what we do, I can tell them.

Anyway, Sensei made all of us face the center when doing kata tonight. When I was trying to learn Seiyunchin and copy what my row was doing, I accidentally copied what Captain David did who was right in front of me. After a few seconds, I noticed that I did that instead of copying the person next to me. When I got into place, I expressed myself through my hands by shaking them because I messed very badly. Sensei noticed and said that I cannot do that at all. Probably he said I couldn’t do that because it looks bad and because I have to control my mind and emotions.

I noticed that karate is mental and physical training. Tonight, Sensei made us get into knuckle push-up position and say the dojo kun. Normally, I last a few seconds, but this time, I pushed myself harder. When I was focusing and pushing myself, Sensei made me look up in front of me. Then, he said that I had to speak because I wasn’t saying the dojo kun. When I started saying the last part of the dojo kun, I gave out and put my knee on the floor. So, I’m proud of myself for lasting longer than I normally do.

Tonight, I figured out why I walk weird when I was standing there watching my Sempai do higher kata. I walk like a duck and bob up and down when walking. Tonight, I realized that I stick my hips behind me instead of right under me. So, when I thrust my hips forward, my knees match up with my feet. I have noticed that I walk in the inside of my arches; therefore, I walk like a duck. However, it’s hard for me to have my hips thrust forward because I have to flex my thighs, butt, and abs, so it gets tiring. I look skinner and I don’t think I bounce when I do that. When I was doing karate, I was focusing on thrusting my hips forward. I noticed that my movement improved. When I was doing moving attack and focusing on that, Sensei said to get into a deeper Zenkutsu dachi. Many times, Sensei has said that I’m a lazy girl and go deeper. When I went deeper, I noticed that I was lower that the person in front of me and I’m taller than him.

When I was watching my Sempai do higher kata, a cell phone went off. I looked at the reactions in their faces to see whose cell phone was that; however, everyone stayed stone faced. Then, it went off a second time. Finally, Sempai Kirk made a face and that told me it was his cell phone. After doing the kata, Sempai Kirk asked Sensei he could go to the men room to turn off his cell phone. Some people, including Sensei, thought the cell phone was an ice cream truck. My cell phone went off during my first quarter of karate at SCC. Sensei didn’t mind though. However, I felt bad and apologized after class. I don’t turn off my cell phone because nobody calls me.

Today was the last day that Russians/Ukrainians will train with us. On Monday, Elena and her Sensei fly to New York. Doctor will be flying back to the Ukraine. So, Sensei Mary made cake because they were leaving us. Doctor is an actual doctor of medicine because he treats families. I was surprised because I didn’t think he was an actual doctor. Elena asked how I was after class. I told her that I was wonderful. I wonder if I’ll ever see her and her friends again. I’m mad that I didn’t think to say goodbye when I left Sensei’s house.

Hi Supergroup

Supergroup, you are going to have a post just for you. Thank you for the huge reply.

My karate is a full contact style. I talked with my Sempai how much power I can hit them. They said I should focus on technique first and power later.

Actually, I’ve been training for 6 ½ months. The first two was at college for about 45 min. two times a week. Then, I’ve been at the dojo for 4 ½ months. Sorry, I was a little off with my calculations. I had to look in my journal to see when I exactly joined.

Actually, now I’m 6th kyu because I became a green belt on the last day of Gasshuku. You are right though. I have just about jumped from 9th to 6th kyu in four months. So, I did a kyu level almost a month. I didn’t realize how fast I’m moving through the ranks. Man, I’m flying. However, Gassuhuku added four months to my training because of the intensity and the longevity of it. So if you count Gassuhuku, I’ve been training for 10 ½ months theoretically.

You say it takes at least a year for the average person to get to the level of training where I’m at. I believe you because I heard that a 50 year old stayed as a white belt for a year. However, I thought that it was because of her age. When you say that I might be asking too much of myself, that doesn’t surprise me because I have done that in the past with school work. It was so bad that a teacher was very concerned with me not having fun because I was too concentrated with my homework.

You are right that my training has become a harsh and rocky path. You have asked me what my personal reasons for training and studying karate are. I have realized that question has come up in karatekorner many a time. I’ve asked myself what motivates me to train in karate. I’ve realized that it’s just the pure love of karate. I love karate so much is that I think and even obsess about it every day. In addition, some parts of karate is fun and entertaining. For example, I learned some Bunkai Oyo for a kata that I didn’t even know. It was fun because I got to work with some high black belts. I made the tap out with different techniques, such as an arm bar, and attacked them when they were down on the ground. That was fun.

Anyway, you ask what my goals for training in karate are. I don’t really have any goals. I know I want to continue with my training and eventually become a black belt. My most important reason is that I go to the dojo is to learn and train in karate. Making friends, working on mental control, developing healthy exercise regime, and learning self-defense are all consequences of going to the dojo.

Gasshuku Part 2

Hi. I have a hard time not smiling because it’s very natural to me. When I was working with Sempai John, Sensei made all of us do knuckle push-ups. I hate knuckle push-ups because they are so painful. When doing push-ups I cannot put my stomach on the floor because that is cheating. My arms are not that strong so it’s hard for me to do a push-up. It’s even harder to hold myself up in the air in push-up position because my abs are weak. I try my best to hold myself up. When I was trying to do the push-ups, Sempai John said to hide my thumbs. Then, Sensei came over and said I had to do them on my first two knuckles instead of five. I think I should have known better because I was a 7th kyu.

In one part of the exercise, I had to have my hand near my chest to protect it. Sometimes, I didn’t do that. So, Sempai John said to protect my heart and started punching my hand hard. I know that one of his punches brushed against my breast. When he punched, he came in hard, fast, and right at me. Sometimes, I was afraid he would really punch my head if I wasn’t fast enough. He punched me so hard that he bruised my forearms. When retreating and blocking, I had to get off from the “train tracks” and be at an angle from him. He said that I didn’t have a very good sense of direction because I was going on the train tracks. He said that I needed to be smoother after awhile. When we took a water break, I was really tried. When I normally work with someone, I’m not that tried. He when he was pushing me, I was wondering if he was going to kill me because he pushes and punches so hard.

One day later, a group of us went to The Onion downtown to eat dinnter. Sempai John sat across from me and right next to Ellena (el-lay-nah). Ellena is Russian who can speak a little English. I was looking at her passport with Sempai Foster who sat right next to me and discovered that she is only a month older than I am. I thought she was a least a year older because she said she was 20. She looked older too, so I was shocked.

During dinner, I asked Sempai Foster how old was he and Sempai John. He said that they were both 25 years old. Then, he gave me a hard time because he assumed that I had a crush on Sempai John and threatened to tell him. Of course, that wasn’t true at all.

I was with one of the last groups that left the restaurant. When everyone separated and went to their cars, I found myself walking alone with Sempai John. In the dojo, it’s customary for the men to escort the women to their cars because the men can make sure that we are safe. When walking me towards the car, he talked to me. After I arrived to my car, I drove home.

Sempai Diana is a green belt and has been at the dojo for almost a year. This was her first Gasshuku. For some reason, she took it upon herself to help and take care of me. I didn’t mind that on the second day because she invited me to come with her everywhere she went. It was nice to feel wanted. The third day we went on Silver Mountain to ride the Gondola and chair lifts to the top of the mountain.

On Tuesday I asked Sempai Linda if it was all right if my mom watched us during Gasshuku. She said that I had to ask Sempai Scott because Sensei is picky about this sort of thing. My mom really wanted to meet Sensei and my Sempai. However, I decided not to ask Sempai Scott because my mom would have probably distracted me from my training. Then on Wednesday night, Sensei invited my mom to the Banquet on Saturday night. I was surprised and decided that couldn’t be coincidence because Sensei has never mentioned about my mom before.

Gasshuku

Hi. There is so much to write about. I know that it is going to take me a very long time to write of all that happened to me. Should I start from the beginning, middle, or end of Gasshuku? Actually, I’ll give an overview of Gasshuku first.

I didn’t know what to expect when I walked on the dojo floor on the first day of Gasshuku. I heard Gasshuku was for six full days, painful, and intense. Now that I look back on it, it was so much more than that. My view of karate has changed because I learned that there were other Sempai other than the ones at my dojo and I learned more of the rules that I had to abide by. During it, my relationship with my Sempai and Sensei have been strengthened. I learned that my Sempai really care and watch out for me. I didn’t know that I could train for 10 hours a day and still be ready for the next day. I learned that I could push through the pain and exhaustion. On the last day, I pushed myself harder than ever before. When I was pushing myself, a great battle of physical and mental will played inside my head. No matter how hard I push myself, I feel better a little while afterwards. I have to push myself harder during class because two hours is nothing compared to Gasshuku. I even had the opportunity to work with a Russian who didn’t speak English named Valerie. Because of Gasshuku, my skill level has greatly improved.

Last night, Sensei asked me what was the most important thing I learned during Gasshuku. I said I learned that it was painful and of course, answered wrong. He said that my number one lesson should have to pay more attention. However, I learned always to take Ritalin Long Lasting before class so I won’t get in trouble. I take Ritalin because I have Attention Deficit Disorder, ADD. During the school year, I took it because it helped my concentrate and complete on homework. Now, I don’t take it during the summer because I don’t have any homework. Apparently, I need to be on it when I’m ever at the dojo because if I don’t take it, I’m going not pay attention and get yelled at by Sensei and/or Sempai.

I didn’t take Ritalin during the first two days of Gasshuku. I don’t remember having any problems on the first day. Sensei says that I did knuckle push-ups on Monday morning because of not paying attention; however, I don’t remember that. In contrast, I know that I did do knuckle push-ups on Tuesday morning. Tuesday was bad because I was keeping getting in trouble for not paying attention. It seemed like that I was paying attention or I wasn’t paying attention for a few min. On Tuesday morning, Sensei caught me watching Sempai Valerie working Gekisai Dai Ichi or Ni. I was supposed to be watching my Sempai work on their advanced kata. It’s just so hard to stand there straight as a board and not get bored. It was so easy to sift my attention elsewhere. Therefore, Sensei made me go to a corner to do those painful knuckle push-ups.

Last Tuesday, I worked with him on an advanced form of San Dan Ni. I’ve done it with Sempai Jason and that was enjoyable. First, I had to watch Sempai John work with another black belt. When he called me to take the place of the black belt, I failed to do so because I forgot and wasn’t paying attention to the position that they were in. The second time I got it right and started working with him.

Of course, it takes me forever to learn something. For example, I really had to grab onto his arm. He kept on ripping his arm away from my hands illustrating that I need to squeeze harder. Sempai John illustrated to me to squeeze harder when he grabbed my arm, pulled me very hard, and sent me flying in his direction. In another, part of the exercise, I had to punch in the neck. I pressed too lightly and so, he leaned into my punch. The first couple few times he did that, it freaked me out because I didn’t want to hurt him and the throat is such a vulnerable part in the body.

I’m a nice person and I don’t want to hurt a person in anyway. When I have to squeeze on a person’s arm, I do it lightly. In another example, I unconsciously punch or kick to the side of a person instead right at them. Last night, I had to give myself permission mentally to trip my partner harder when doing Judo.

Judo, My Stupid Car, and Floors

Hi. Sorry I haven’t written for a while. I’ve been busy.

When school got out, I wanted to get away from the internet for a while because I spend way to much time on it at school. Therefore, I took a week off. On that Thursday, we did Judo for karate. It’s when we to throws on the mats. First, we practiced rolling. Then, I paired off with Sempai Amy and five kinds of takedowns and throws. When working with each other, we always had to keep on adjusting and fixing out gi because we had to undo the knots on the sides. We didn’t actually throw each other. We only practiced to up until that point. It took me awhile to trust her because she’s smaller than I am and thought she wasn’t strong enough from keeping me from dropping on the mats. However, by the end of class, I had my full trust in her.

After class ended, we all went to Sensei Mary’s condominium near the dojo to welcome her into her new condo. However, my car didn’t start up. Therefore, I had to get a ride by Sempai Linda. Then, I called my mom and told her that my car broke down and that I was at Sensei Mary’s condominium. To my horror, mom wanted to pick me up right away because she had to go to bed because of work. In addition, she needed the address of the complex; however, nobody was with me at the time. I didn’t want to walk in there with my cell phone because I was afraid I would get in trouble. They had me talk to my mom outside on the landing instead of inside. Before talking to her, they said to put my phone on vibrate, so it wouldn’t go off in Sensei Mary’s condominium. Anyways, my mom talked to Sempai Linda and Sempai Amy. We figured out that someone could give me a ride home instead of her picking me up. After that, Sempai Kirk took me home with Sempai Scott in the back seat.

However, I'm unconfortable with a black, 36 year old from college who wants me to visit him at his place. That guy gives me the creeps because he's old enough to be my young dad and it looks like he’s interested in me. I think the guy is desperate and wants company. I think that if I go to his house, which I will never will, he can do any thing to me like raping me. Therefore, I’m haven’t responded when he called and text messaged me. I wish he could get the hint and leave me alone.

Then, on the next Friday my dad called saying that he needed help right away for work because the crew only consisted him and Steve, he needed more helpers. Therefore, my brother, sister, and I took off towards the Washington coast. It was a 10-hour drive. Yuck! Way too long. First, we went to the tiny town of Ilwalco that is smaller than Three Forks, Montana. Ilwalco is right off the coast and a 20 min. from Oregon. The motel was all right and mediocre. It had two queen sized beds and a cot. My brother and dad shared one bed, my sister and I shared another, and Steve, the other crew chief, slept on the cot. We worked for about two days in the Grey Harbor College staining the floor. It was my dad and Steve’s first experience staining a floor.

First, we cleaned the floor with rags. Second, my dad and Steve applied the stain with scrubbers. We had to wait for four hours so the floor can absorb the stain. Third, we had to remove excess stain by mopping, squigiing, and vacuuming it. I had bucket detail that meant that I had to fill countless buckets full of water and put TSP in them. I had to dump the dirty water that contained down a storm drain outside. When we did this process, it was about 12 AM, so, it was dark and cold. The next day, we had trouble putting the sealer on the floor. First, my dad used a scrubber to put the sealer on the floor, but that was excessively much because there were many spots that turned milky. They figured that the floor was too porous to do that. Therefore, my sister and I had to scrub the floor with rags to get the excess off. Then, my dad figured out that we only could apply the sealer with a wet rag and a dry rag.

Finals

Yay! I’m done with finals and school. I’m taking the summer off because I really need a break. I did really well with my finals. I think I got a high 90 percent on my Islam and West final. I was able to take a quiz that I missed three weeks ago in my Islam class. Then, I think got around a 90 percent on my pre-calc final. I know that these grades will raise my grade for both classes. Hopefully, I got 3.6 in both classes instead of a 3.5. I don’t really have any regrets with my grades. I took two hard classes which took much of my time.

My Racial Development

In 1986, I was born in Spokane, Washington. My genetic make-up comes from Wales, Scotland, England, and Germany (Weiten, 294). Therefore, I’m white and Euro-American like most Americans in the Untied States of America. When I was a baby and a toddler, I missed many of the developmental norms for a normal baby and toddler (Weiten, 298). For example my fine and gross motor skills were lacking and finally learned how to walk at age two through physical therapy. In addition, my speech skills were lacking; and therefore, I was placed into a special preschool at the age three. I spent most of my early childhood in Spokane and didn’t live in a place that had multiple cultures. Therefore, I was in the first stage of the Helms and Tatum’s Racial Identity Model in my childhood.

In 1996, I moved to Montana and lived there for ten years. Montana doesn’t have many ethnic minorities; and thus, I was exposed to a few of them in my late childhood and teen years. As a teen, I went through a stage called identity foreclosure (Weiten, 312). I accepted my parent’s beliefs of what they thought about ethnic minorities and what rolls they played in America’s society. I was still in the first stage of the Helm and Tatum’s Model in most of my teen years. First, only a handful of Latinos, Asians, Blacks, and Native Americans attended my school and none of them spoke a second language. Naturally, I was curious and naïve about other ethnic groups because I didn’t know much about them. For example, when I went to California to visit, I heard many different languages spoken by many different ethnic groups. I thought hearing the languages was cool and different because I never heard that in Montana. In addition, most of my culture experience came from the media and not from my environment.

In 2005, I moved back to Spokane and currently going to Spokane Community College. This quarter, I moved from the first stage to the fifth stage in the Helms and Tatum Identity Model. First, I’m learning more about different ethnic groups, especially in my English class. First, I know that all ethnic minorities can and will contribute to the American society in a positive way. Ethnic minorities are people who I can learn and grow from. For example, I’m learning Goju-Ryu Karate from Teruo Chinen who is Japanese. Chinen Sensei provides unselfish guidance generations younger than him, regardless nationality, because he is concerned about the future generations (Weiten, 314). Second, I don’t evaluate ethnic minorities from a European perspective. I learned that ethnic minorities have a much different experience living in America than whites from a movie named The Color of Fear. When I evaluate them, I have to take in account their nationality and experiences. If I don’t, I will slip back into stage one in the Helms and Tatum’s Racial Identity Model. Third, I will actively try to stop and end all types of oppression, such as sexism, ageism, and racism. I will use my personality traits to an advantage to help and stop oppression by behaving a certain way in which oppression presents itself in various situations (Weiten, 328). For example, if another white person spreads rumors about a Cuban that I know they are not true, I will be honest, kind, direct, and brave by telling that he or she is telling lies and to stop. My church has taught me to stand up for what is right and true, such as standing up for all ethnic minorities, even though I might be persecuted or looked down upon.

During the course of my life, my racial identity has changed. First, when I was a child, I never really thought that my race would be considered as an oppressor to ethnic minorities. I was taught about how the whites enslaved blacks two hundred years ago. However, I wasn’t taught until this quarter how we still enslave the blacks or all ethnic minorities by discriminating against them. Second, I realized that I need to consider that fact that all ethnic minorities have to deal with whites in the United States. Until, this quarter, I didn’t know that they had to think like a white person if they want to succeed in life.

In conclusion, from my life experiences, my view as a white young woman has changed. Now, I realize that not every ethnic minority and white person thinks like me. I have to consider where everyone is coming from and respond accordingly. For example, many whites don’t know about racism and might discriminate against ethnic minorities. Therefore, it is my responsibility to teach them and try to correct them of their ways. In another example, many ethnic minorities have been badly discriminated against. Therefore, if one of them had a problem with me because of my color, I would be more understanding and sympathetic towards them. In addition, I would try to prove that I’m not that kind of white that discriminates against ethnic minorities.

Finals and karate

Ugg! Why do we have to take these stupid finals? I've been studying all day. I'm worried that I won't have enough time to study for my pre-calc final. Why does my family want to hold a memorial service for my grandfather and uncle tomorrow? Why can't they hold it on Friday? It's because it fits into everybody’s schedule except mine. I’d much rather take my final for Islam and the West, take a break for a few hours, study until 6:30, and then, go to karate. However, I have to take the final at 10:30 which I think will take me about two to three hours. Then, go to the memorial service at 4:oo. I think that I have to get dressed up for it too. For the last two days, it’s been raining. What if it rains and its cold, I’ll be freezing in the school because I have to dress nice. Probably, it will be not that long; however, all of my relatives will go to my house for dinner. I want to visit with Uncle J.R., Aunt Wendy, and Uncle Rich because I haven’t seen them for years. So, that means that I won’t have much time to study tomorrow.

Finals would be so much easier if I could remember every single tiny thing. It took me a long time just to go over the sections that I took for my first test. I practically forgot how to graph conic sections and had to relearn it. It was easy to relearn; however, it takes lots of time. I just want to get a 90 or higher on this final. So, I’ve been really digging into these sections into depth.

Good news! Sensei said I’ll be testing for my third stripe on Tuesday. Yesterday, he said I’ll be testing for it tomorrow. However, I told him I couldn’t be there because of dinner. I would love skip dinner and go to karate and test, but family is more important. Some of the brown and green belts will be testing tomorrow too.

I need to work on some things. Yesterday, I learned that I have to put 60% of my weight on my leg in front of me and 40% on my back leg in Sanchin dachi. I’ve been doing it the other way around or about 50/50. I have to actually move when I do the second block tiger way in (GDN) Gekisai Dai Ni. Sensei noticed that I didn’t do that when he had Cory and I perform the kata. Therefore, he had Sempai Kirk work with me on that one particular spot. Sempai Kirk told me to cross my arms as far as possible to exaggerate when preparing for blocking. Then, slack off a little when doing the kata for real. When I did that, it was easier to block.

Sensei also made Cory and I perform the Stance kata. When transferring from Zenkutsu dachi to Nekoashi dachi, he put his hand little above and behind my head telling me not to touch it. Of course, I failed the first time and succeeded the second time. He did that a second time when I transferred from Shiko Dachi to Shiko Dachi. After doing that, he told me it was more challenging and asked me if I liked it. I said that I sort of like it and he told me to say “Yes, Sensei.” So, I did. That was one of the times that I coudn't say "No, Sensei." Sensei made did that to me because he wants to have my stances deeper and not to bob up and down when transferring. When he was working with me, I think he told me I was a good girl and patted me on the back twice. He hasn’t done that for a while.

Randori and other things

When I first started karate, it was new and exciting. I was learning things for the first time in my first quarter of karate. When I first started going to the dojo, it was an experience that I haven't had in my lifetime before. In my second quarter of karate, I repeated the things that I learned in the first half of my first quarter. I honed in my basics like punching, kicking, blocking, moving attack, and the Fukukata.

I've realized that the dojo was the main place where I learned karate. However, I noticed that I haven’t had that excitement which I got after training at the dojo. I used have the urge to write all the things that I have learned in my journal. Now, I haven’t written in it for a while because I haven’t had that excitement. It’s probably because the things which we do in the dojo aren’t brand new anymore. It seems like I’m reviewing more and more. However, one night the excitement did come back and it took me forever to fall asleep. That night, I learned and worked on a new version San Dan Ni (the three level striking exercise) for two hours with Sempai Jason. I was all excited afterwards and wanted to write in my journal. Of course, I didn’t because I didn’t have time too. The next day, the excitement was gone which is to be expected.

My favorite classes are when we get to work one on one with each other. I just don’t like the classes when I have to stand and watch the higher belts do a higher kata. It gets boring and makes me want to do something. One class I stood for about an hour or more watching the higher belts do things. Oh! I got so antsy and really wanted to spar or even just to move around instead of just standing there.

Last Thursday, Sensei had all the white belts Randori except me. Oh, I really wanted Randori and improve my skills. Sensei had Cory spar with Sempai Brandon, Tauk with Sempai John, and Chris with Captain David. The rest of us just self-practiced. Tauk and Chris were testing from SCC. I don’t know why I wasn’t. Maybe it’s because I didn’t pay the money with them. At SCC, Sensei said that we had to pay ten dollars to test. However, I didn’t pay anything when I tested for my second stripe. I don’t know. Sensei said I was ready for my third stripe and that I can test anytime. Ugg, I really want to get my third stripe; however, I know that I’m in no big hurry to get it. When I got my second stripe little over a month ago, it didn’t really mean that much to me physically. Getting stripes just happens when I train. I finally got my certificate for 8th kyu on June 1st because Sensei has been so busy. Maybe, I should wait until Sensei announced that I should test again like my last test and be an 8th kyu longer. I don’t know how long I’ll be a 7th kyu because Mesha has been one two to three months now and hasn’t learned Seiunchin all the way yet. However, probably Sensei won’t have me learn the kata until I’m a third stripe. However, I know that one of the Sempai could correct many things in my Saifa like they did with Fuku kata Dai San and with both Gekisai kata.

Anyway, like I said, I really wanted to Randori even though it’s very tiring and I could get hurt again. I was hoping that Sensei would allow me to Randori but it never happened. Therefore, I felt disappointed and a little down. I kept on sending him little hints that I wanted to do it too by practicing sparring techniques; however, he didn’t catch on.

I’m sad that I can’t go to the dojo on Thursday because my relatives are coming over and have dinner with my family. Aunt Wendy is coming up from California and Uncle J.R. is coming from West Virginia. They are coming here because my grandfather died two weeks ago. We’re having a memorial service for him and for my Uncle Brian who died of cancer when 42 years old. This will be the first time in a long time that I will miss class. Last time I missed class was when Sempai John didn’t let me in the dojo because I was an hour late. That was horrible!

I need to stop writing. I have to either work on my Islam and the West or my pre-calc. I found out that I have a 3.5 in pre-calc. Gerrr, I was expecting a 4.0. Hopefully, I can get a 3.6 or 3.7 with a high grade from my final. My final will replace my first test which I got a 76, so that will help. I just don’t want to bomb my final like I did last quarter in pre-calc. I had a 4.0 all quarter and then, a 3.9 from the last test. I was expecting to bump it up however; I took way too long on my final. So, I didn’t finish it and got a 66 which killed my grade. Therefore, I got a 3.4 instead of a 4.0. So, I’m sort of nervous with this final because I will be longer than two hours for everybody. It will be more like 2 hours and 45 min. I’m just wondering how long it’s going to take me because I take twice as long. In my last final, I worked for 4 half hours which completely fried me.

Third Stripe

Hi. I'm really excited! Because Sensei said I'm ready to test for my third stripe yesterday. I'm close to being a green belt and becoming a Sempai. Hurray!!!!! Hopefully, I'll test tonight.

I'm sort of sad though because yesterday was our final in Karate at SCC. That means I won't get to practice at SCC until the fall quarter. That's alright though, because all we do is go over and over the basics. Plus, practice is so short because its 45 min long. It's not enough to learn a whole lot. At the dojo, we train for two solid hours. To me, the dojo is the main place where I learn karate, not SCC. I wonder where I would be if I didn't become a member of the dojo. Probably, still a first stripe saying the karate is getting boring. However, Sensei did invite the SCC students to the dojo many times this quarter. Therefore, I would have probably joined anyway.

When Sensei has invited the students from SCC, nobody hardly comes. Probably, it's because they have homework, class, work, or something else better to do. Emily says that she doesn't train at the dojo because it's too intimidating for her. When I first went, it was a little intimidating to me too, but I got use to it the more times that I went. There were times I could have said, "Ack, I can't train here because Sempai John and Sempai Scott are too strict". However, I realized that I can smile with certain people. For example, I trained with Sempai Jason and he didn’t care that I smiled. He told me to relax and don't think to much. In addition, I can't be busy and have to keep my elbows in when I strike with my wrist and palm. I have to squeeze hard and be strong when I grab his arm. I think he's one of my favorite teachers. I want him to teach me again.

Rugrats used to be my favorite T.V. show when I was a kid. I loved to watch it all the time. My mom loved it too because it always made her laugh. I only watched Reading Rainbow a little. I watched Bill Nye the Science Guy for science in school. It had always interesting stuff to learn about. Home Alone used to be one of my favorite movies. I still love it because the writers were creative with all the things which the main character did to hamper the bad guys. It was really funny. When I watch it now, I know most of the stuff that happened to the bad guys would seriously injure them. Therefore, it's not that fun anymore because it's unreal.

Childhood T.V. Shows

Hi. I just got done reading Captain Picard's Journal (http://jlpicard.blogspot.com/). I've been keeping up with it and it's pretty funny. However, I would like the stories to be longer and the characters to be more in depth. However, Picard is pretty developed.

I love science fiction. I wish that I had an imagination where I can make up and tell stories. The only place where I use my imagination is in my dreams. I would love to take a creative writing class to help my writing and imagination; however, I don't have enough time to take it. I have enough classes to take. In addition, it won't fulfill any requirements.

When I was little, my dad would watch Star Trek Enterprise all the time. I remember watching it with him. I don’t remember much about it though. The other shows that I remember watching when I was little is the Little Mermaid, Sesame Street, Barney, Rug Rats, Mr. Rogers, Reading Rainbow, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Home Alone, Doug, Rocko's Modern Life, The Hidden Temple, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, All That, Guts, I Love Lucy, I Dream of Genie, The Jetsons, Gargoyles, Bonkers, and America's Funniest Home Videos. I know there are more, but I don't remember the names. There was one show that had a family who lived in a tree house when dinosaurs lived on the Earth. Maybe, they were back in time. There was another show that was about a family of dinosaurs. It wasn't animated; it was played by people in costumes.

I have watched Barney recently. And Oh My Gosh, what a stupid show! It has too much singing and dancing in it. I still remember the words of the I Love You song. "I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me too?" I know a violent Christmas song of Barney that I sang as a child. "Joy to the World that Barney's dead. We barbecued (or cut off) his head. What happened to his body? We flushed it down his potty. Round and round it went. Round and round it went. Round and round and around it went." I sang another Christmas song about Batman. "Jingle bells. Batman smells. Robin laid an egg. The Bat Mobile lost its wheel. And Joker does ballet. Hey!!!"

I watched Mr. Rogers recently too. I realized it's a good show for children. Much better than Barney, Boobah, or Telletubbies. I watched Boobah and it's a stupid and boring show. Last year, I gave Tony (my best friend) a Boobah which danced and moved for a joke because he was afraid of them. It was an expensive doll because it cost $20. The day I gave it to him, he broke it because he dropped the doll. I wanted to turn it back and get a new one for him, but he didn't want me too. He'd much rather have it broken so it wouldn't give him the creeps as much. I liked that Boobah because it was cute and had some catchy tunes. I'd much rather play with the doll than watch that show.

The show that I watched the most when I was little is the Little Mermaid. I watched it over and over and over again. It drove my mom crazy. I can still remember every little thing that happens in that movie. Don't ask me why I loved that movie so much because I honestly don't know. Maybe it's because we didn't have many movies back then. I don't know.

I can only remember Sesame Street a little. When I was small and watching that show, somehow I knocked the T.V. off and it fell on my head. The next day I looked like a raccoon because of the bruises on my face.

I wish I could write more; however, I took too long as it is. I need to do pre-calc. I’m behind and need to catch up.

Lizzie

Hi. I called this blog Lizzie because it’s my name. I call all my journals a name. These are the names that I have called my past journals: Peewee, Pooh, Anne, Dallin, and finally Emily. Most of the names are names of people who influenced me in some way, shape, or form. Dallin is after Elder Dallin H. Oaks. Anne and Emily are after the people who gave journals to me. Peewee is the name which my dad used to call my sister when she was young. I call another one Pooh because his picture is on the cover of the journal.

My first blog....

Hi. My name is Elizabeth. I decided to create a blog because I wanted to talk about karate in a much productive way. Lately I have been writing in a journal. Now, I realize that's too slow because it takes me around one hour to write two pages. With me writing in a blog, I can type much faster than writing, edit, and everyone can read what I write. However, probably no one is going to read this anyway because I'm going to treat this blog as my journal. I was looking at myspace.com and Yuk. My brother and sister use it all the time. My sister said if I started writing in myspace, more people would read it. However, I don't like the format for myspace, blogger.com is so much better. In addition, when I was looking through myspace, some of the pages you couldn't even read very well because of the stuff in the background and the colors clashing with each other. Plus, I think myspace is a giant community where people can create profiles and talk to each other. I don't want that. I just want to write mostly about karate.

I've been doing karate for almost five months and I love it!!! However, I concluded that it's painful because of all the little injuries I get. I've been getting all kinds of bruises. They are on my arms, legs, knees, and feet. Three weeks ago, I got four bloody knuckles. I think four weeks ago, Captain David hurt my foot when we were sparring. It swelled up and turned all black and blue a week later. My feet have been bothering me lately. First, I get blisters from training on the floor with bare feet. Second, I've had a split between my toe next to my pinky toe and the pad of my foot. Every weekend, it heals only to get ripped back open by karate. Gerr, its making me mad. I'm going to leave it alone for now on to see if that helps. Probably, it will help. I think I pulled or strained a muscle in my left foot because it hurts whenever I'm on the ball of my foot.