Monday, September 25, 2006

Sempai/kohai relationship

I’ve been thinking about the relationship that I have between my Sempai and me. My Sempai compared it to an older brother/sister relationship and that my Sempai are not my friends. At first, I thought that not being friends meant that they were going to my enemies. After asking one of my Sempai, I realized that our relationship is so much closer than just being friends.

I’m the oldest out of my brother and sister. We’re friends but we are so much more than that because we’re siblings. I wouldn’t tell a friend that I would tell my brother and sister. For example, I wouldn’t tell my friend my deepest innermost feelings. Actually, it depends on how close my friend is to me. When I lived in Anaconda, I would go to Sabine, who worked in the computer lab, if I had any problems. She could have been my Sempai because she would listen, council, and comfort me.

I can tell my brother and sister anything because they understand me. In many ways, my sister is the oldest because of her personality. She’s high-strung, a born leader, and sometimes stubborn. She tells me what to do all the time and so does my brother. I tell them what to do too, however, it not as much as they tell me what to do. I don’t mind following my sister because I’m so laid back. I just go with the flow with things.

In looking at other relationships between brothers and sisters, some are not friends. They can fight and hate each other. I used to argue with my brother constantly too. However, it has gotten better over time. I never fight with my sister because I’m closer to her than my brother. Anyways, one has to love their siblings even if they don’t like them. You always end a friendship with someone if it goes sour.

I take comfort that my relationship between my Sempai and me is so much closer than being a friend. Even if they don’t like me, they need to look out, care, protect, and mentor me. Even if I don’t like what they tell me to do that’s karate related, I still have to obey them. I just hope that none will abuse their authority over me because that’s irresponsible.

One thing that is different from a sibling relationship is them disciplining me when I do something wrong. I read on the internet that it frees up the responsibility of Sensei when they discipline for Sensei. I don’t get to discipline my brother and sister because that’s my parent’s job. So in that context, they are sort of my parents too because they discipline me and I have to obey them. In the Bible, it says to honor thy father and mother. That means that I have to obey them because they know so much more than I do. They will not lead me astray on some forgotten and lonely path. This means that I have to trust all of my Sempai.


supergroup7 said...

I would just encourage you to respect your sempai, but to save your trust in them until you have had experience, and time with them. Let them earn your trust.. do not automatically trust someone because they are wearing a certain color belt. O.K.?

lizzie said...

I'll trust them to a certain extent Supergroup. I trust some Sempai more than other Sempai. When talking with Sempai David, he said that I "must trust your Sempai as they are more experienced in this walk of life than you are. They are your elders in a manner of speaking, with Sensei being the eldest." (If this isn't ok quoting you Sempai David, tell me and I'll delete it.) I respect all of my Sempai because they know so much more than me. I also know that they can make mistakes because they are human.