I got scared
I just realized that tomorrow is my birthday. I knew it was on Sunday during the week, but then forgot about it. I'm going to turn 23 years old. That's still pretty young. However, it hit me how old I'm getting because that's close to 25. In a singles ward that's pretty old. At least it's not as bad as 30. I've only had one boyfriend in my life. That's Andrey. We are still good friends and still wear his ring that he gave to me towards the beginning of our relationship. I always play with it. It's a wonder that I haven't lost it for good. However, there has been some close calls. We dated for five months. I want to find a guy who's has that much in common with me. I haven't found a person like him guy or girl.
So, I've decided to put a social life to the side. Sarah has been wanting me to get on for a long time. I did pretty well in the winter. However, I didn't put 100 percent in my school work. I haven't been that social in the ward because of BJJ. She wanted me to get invite people from the ward to do things with. She said I can do that through texting. She wanted me to get a set of friends other than my roommates because talking to them doesn't count. I thought a lot about it. I'm deeply committed to school and BJJ. Having a social life would just distract from school. I want and have been 100 percent into school this term. My grades has showed it. Getting good grades make me so happy even though school is boring. I feel bad when I get average or bad grades. BJJ makes me so happy too. I'm in love with it. :) I skipped the ward camp out because I wanted to go to BJJ on Friday and today. Plus, I'm going to leave in a week and be gone for two weeks. So, I needed to go to BJJ. I wanted to get more homework done. However, I haven't yet. I need to cover three lectures today to catch up.
Today, we practiced MMA. So, we worked on our kicks. We lined up and kicked different types of kicks into a big pad which a person can hold. When kicking, Roberto said not to chamber when kicking the roundhouse. He said to try to go through and spin around. I did OK when kicking the air. However, I was horrible at the bag because I wouldn't kick high enough. Then we worked on knees. We had to do this flying knee which I haven't done before. Then, we did these flying double knees. When I held the bag for that, I was questioning it because no one really had any power behind it. Plus, we grabbed the person on each shoulders instead of one. Afterwards, Roberto said those knees are for when a person decides to shoot on you. That makes a ton more sense because one doesn't have to have a lot of power to knee someone in the head while they are shooting. Roberto needs to buy more pads so we don't have to stand in a line like that.
Then, I sparred with Cory. Cory hit me pretty hard. I got scared because I knew that he was going to hit me. I'm not used to being hit that hard in the butt, legs, and head. I don't like it. However, I know it's good for me because in real life, no one is going to hold back and have gloves on. It's going to hurt. I still got scared. I'm pretty sure that everyone saw because I didn't want to come in and attack. While watching people kicking the bag, Cory had the most power. So, I was at the receiving end of that power. It just scared me because those kicks hurt. Plus, I don't like being rocked when punched in the head. Plus, I was beginning to close my eyes which was even worse. Roberto said that I could quit, but I said no. I tried, but I shutdown in a way. When Cory took me down and sat on me, I wanted to tap out because I couldn't breathe. My fighting spirit wasn't even there. I went on my side so I could breathe and that exposed my arm. So, he armbarred me.
Afterwards, I felt like crying. Roberto asked me if I was alright and told me to get a drink of water. I talked to Cory and Roberto about being scared. Roberto said it just takes practice. He said I need to learn how to control my emotions. Cory said that when he started, he got scared too. He even turned to protect his head. He said that one gets scared, they've already lost. One gets so distracted about getting hit, that it doesn't allow them to achieve their goal. Even "Mom" said she got scared when she first started. Instead of getting into fight mode, I responded by wanting to flee from the hard hits.
I remember getting scared a little while sparring in my old dojo. However, no one hit me that hard before. I remember trying to turn away when sparring with Levi. He said that I couldn't do that because it makes it easier to get hit. I was thinking why I wanted to cry afterwards. Probably, that's natural because little kids start crying after they get scared. I'm not used to that emotion because I never get scared. Well that's not true. When I first started in Roberto's dojo, I remember getting scared a few times when rolling with a new person.
1 comment:
Fear is natural if you are not used to that sort of thing.
Many times people will take it easy on a new person when they come into the Dojo, I think this is a detriment to their training, they need to experience it first hand, otherwise they won't be able to deal with it adequately.
Fear, adrenaline, which creates tunnel vision and the 'shakes' which make it near impossible to do anything that is even remotely complex in the form of motor functions.
These things all have to be dealt with and given consideration. They are learning tools.
When you spar, try to keep Sanchin posture; and I do not mean the kind of Sanchin that was taught at Villa Sensei's Dojo, this is different.
Once you have it down, shots to the body wont hurt, no matter how much power there is, then all you need to worry about is your head and your groin area; there again, MMA does not really train for groin shots, so all you need to worry about is your head.
High kicks and flying kicks, even with the knee, are not really practical if you are coming from a self-defense standpoint.
If someone is shooting in they have so much momentum that they cannot stop, so it is easier to just step out of the way and let them hit the ground.
I've done this a number of times on shoot-fighters who loved to shoot in for a double or single-leg takedown, it wastes no energy trying to get fancy. Fancy only gets you hurt.
Also, I agree with your Sensei Roberto that one should not chamber the kick, it stops it and takes away power.
From a Sanchin standpoint one needs to be fully connected and integrated in the skeleto-muscular structure and know how to use it effectively.
Chambers work in opposition to this half the time, but chambers are not always chambers, they can be grabs, leg reaps/wraps, knee strikes prior to a leg reap/wrap, ect.
In my Dojo we do not spend much time on line training, stances, what have you.
We do Kata, but my view of Kata, as expressed before, is different than most.
So you could say we practice a different type of Karate.
In this way it is essential to be hit in order to learn, it is essential to experience these things in order to grow; to hit the matt, to roll around, to submit, and get up, to punch, kick, ect.
There are no 'blocks.'
Also, don't get too hard on Roberto about the matts, we don't have any stricking pads at my school, so our rolling matts double as striking pads and we often don't have enough to go around.
Striking pads are pretty expensive if you want high quality.
If it is a bother to you, I suggest you buy some equipment yourself and bring it to class time for use whenever you're there.
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