I'm getting better

I'm sorry that I didn't write last night. I was way too distracted with Plants VS. Zombies. It's a strategy video game. The day before yesterday, I downloaded a demo and really liked it. I saw that it only need a key to get the full version of it. So, I was a bad girl and used Utorrent crack the game. Yes, I have Utorrent now on my computer because when I went home a few weeks ago, I made sure I transferred everything from the home computer to mine, including how to work Utorrent on my laptop. This was my first time using it on this computer because I didn't know how to set Utorrent up to get out of the router. Plus, I didn't have WinRar. It's a program that makes files much smaller. Anyways, I started playing Plants VS. Zombies when I got home from the MMA class yesterday. I played until five AM. I know that's really bad because video games are a waste of time. However, I haven't played a video game for a very long time. I beat the adventure and puzzle mode. I'm almost done with the mini-game mode. I'm almost half way done with the survival mode. I'm going to play with it a little more tomorrow and then delete with because I'm getting bored with it. It's a really fun game. However, I'm losing interest because I'm pretty much done with the game. That's pretty normal because one normally goes through a game only once. That's why I say that they are a waste of money too. However, I still keep up with them with gametrailers.com and gamespot.com.

Enough about computer stuff. This is what I said on facebook tonight: "I love BJJ!!! I had so much fun tonight. I really love working out like that. I'm really happy with Roberto's dojo. This was the best class I had so far. I just wish I wasn't a beginner." I totally loved class tonight!! It's because we worked nonstop for three hours. We didn't take any breaks. I just wish that I knew more and had more experience. I got frustrated though because everyone beats me. I still have to remember that they are guys and most of them has more experience than me. I beat the girls and a few of the guys in the BYU class. I'm still a beginner and it's a slow process of learning. I feel one of those white or yellow belts in my old dojo. It stinks because I knew I had far more knowledge of karate than them. So, I can pass on my knowledge to them. I was so used to being one of the advanced students. Now, I'm a lowly beginner again. :( Oh, well. At least, I'm having lots of fun in the process. It's just I never got frustrated with myself in karate. I always when I threw in high school though. I think it's because BJJ is more competitive in nature. I'm comparing myself with the guys. If I do that, I think that I suck. In karate, I really never compared myself with people except when I spared and kicked because I knew that sucked too.

I know that I'm getting better though. Every time I practice and spar, I learn of something new. I try to apply the techniques that I have learned to real sparring. I just have trouble applying them and defending myself at the same time against stronger guys. Roberto says that I'm doing really well. He said to not get frustrated because when I do, I stop learning. The time I got really frustrated almost to the point of crying is when I was in the side position. It's not side mount. I'm on my side trying to defend myself while trying grab Cory's foot to sweep him. It's hard because he was slipping his hand underneath my arm which was the nearest to him. That's really bad because he can do anything to my arm at that point. I was having trouble keeping it tight while trying to grab his foot and scoot my hips back to throw him off balance so I can sweep him. I know that this is a better way to protect my arm if they try to key lock it from mount. I learned another way to defend from it, but it uses a lot of strength. It always doesn't work either. So, I know a better defense sorta. I tried that with Cory but he got my back instead. Ugg. At least, it's lots of fun. I'm having fun writing about it. It reminds me of chess because I'm talking about defense. Probably, being weaker is a good thing because it forces me to do techniques right.

Roberto is all about using soft techniques that don't use a lot of energy. Anyone can use them with a bigger fellow. That's what I like because it makes for sense to conserve energy than waste in a few minutes. Goju-Ryu had a lot of soft techniques that didn't use a lot of force. I forget what they were in particular. This is why I love BJJ. I get to use my the techniques that I have learned in a real live person who's actually trying to defend one's self. I really like that because I'm learning how to use what I learn in a practical sense. All the punching and kicking is good. However, we probably need to spar a lot more to get timing and space at a correct distance. I know that kata teaches us how to moves our bodies in correctly. I know bunkai teaches us how to use the moves that we learn in kata against actual opponents. However, all of that is structured. It's not real time where the other person is trying do defend one's self. However, I do know that Sensei Villa did teach some really good self defense moves though. Probably, one will do well against your average Joe with the correct type of training.

It's going to take forever to get past the beginner stage in this art. One really needs to practice a lot get good at this art. That's the same with anything art, but particularly with this one. At least, I found Roberto which can lead me farther down the path of BJJ. I just really hope that I will keep on loving this art and get really good at it in the coming years. I really mean this because I sort of stop coming to my other dojo regularly this year because I didn't have this fire within me. I know that I had more fun in my evil dojo, but way less understanding. I just really hope this fire stays after I become really familiar to this art. I just want to get a black belt in something. Why not in this art??? That would take a very long time though.

It's like school, I have to take it one step at a time. I have so much to do for school that it can be overwhelming at times. Plus, I have to take it at a slower pace. So, it's going to take me longer to go through school. I have to remember too, that I came a long way coordination and balance wise from when I was a kid. I might be not good at things as other people; however, I have to remember my strengths. I was afraid that I would fail if I went full time in school. I was right. Is the world over? No. I'm just as happy. Now, I know my limitations. I'm just have to go slower through school that's all. I cannot worry and get panicky if I try my best at something especially at school. I cannot worry about the future. I have to take it one step at a time. Right now, I'm having fun in BJJ and taking retaking stats. I was thinking about taking another BOM class this summer, but decided not to because it's summer. Plus, I want to "recover" from spring term. I tried so hard but failed at it. I freaked out and got really depressed because I never failed at school. Now I know not to go as fast. Oh well. I'm still here and the world didn't end. Most of all, Heavenly Father still loves me and will support me if I do all that is in my power.