Thursday, May 07, 2009

Space in the refrigerator

I'm sorry that I didn't write last night. It all started yesterday morning. I got up and found that the refrigerator was full because Li moved in. She's a Post Doc working at the Benson building, 31 years old, and married. I started stressing because I didn't have much food in the refrigerator. I wanted space because I haven't gone shopping for over a week and a half and was planning on cooking some things. So I after school, I cleared some space for me. However, last night Li took over the spot and I freaked out. At that time, it was late and was very tired. Sarah had Jim and a friend over. I started crying because I voiced that I didn't have any room in the frig. I became very sensitive. I went to bed without washing any dishes, brushing my teeth, writing in my blog, or reading my scriptures. I didn't say goodnight to any one even though Li came in the room asking me the password for our wireless internet. Then, Sarah came in just when I fell asleep. I felt like crying again but I fell right back asleep. When I went to bed, I had a hard cry. I felt like a fool because I was crying about this. I cried partly because I wanted to be isolated from people. I'm very glad that Becca (my roommate) wasn't there last night so I could cry without talking to anyone. I'm glad that I didn't because I was better in the morning. I just got really depressed. I sometimes do that at night.

I started freaking out this morning because my classmate whose name is Mark and who I sit next to told me that we have a test next week. I'm freaked out about it because I haven't read any of the chapters yet. Plus, I heard that I have a stats test next week too. I haven't done anything outside class because of my cooking and me being busy. I've been cooking and lost 12 pounds. The last couple few days, I gained two pounds because I've been going over my calorie limit. It's well worth it to cook so I avoid anything which is bad for me and it tastes better. However, it takes more time. So, it cuts into my homework time. Now, I'm a little freaked out because I haven't had time to study yet. I just wish that BYU wasn't so hard. Today, I was thinking if I don't do well this term, I could transfer to UVU which is a easier and in Provo. I want to stay in Utah right now. I'm very happy here and with my roommates.

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